The memory of the morning there was a knock on our door before daybreak will remain with me forever. Dad, Mom, and my three younger brothers were at the door.
I will never forget the words that Mom uttered with tears streaming down her face
Your brother shot himself last night.
'Is he ok I asked', but Mom just shook her head? We all hugged each other, crying. I was in total disbelief; how could my talented 26-year-old brother have done something like this to himself?
He never showed any signs of depression but back in those days, there was very little known about mental illness, nor would a man talk about feeling depressed as it would be seen as a weakness!
Depression
I've always seen the world through rose-tinted glasses and never understood depression until it hit me about two years after the tragic loss of my brother.
It's time you snapped out of it!' some used to say, probably the most harmful words one can say to someone suffering from depression! It's not just a mood thing, it is a serious illness and if not treated, can be terminal!
Who would ever want to feel like you're in a deep dark hole; totally isolated despite having a loving family around?
I wrote a couple of blogs about Terminal Depression - be a survivor on the old platform where I shared one of the greatest tools I learned, and that was meditation.
Around that time, I met a fellow blogger, the author @ericvancewalton, who has the most amazing insight and wrote two wonderful books The Perfect Pause - Meditating Your Way to the ultimate you as well as a follow-up Mindful Living, which he generously shared chapter by chapter here on Hive.
The effect of lockdown on mental health
The impact of Covid lockdowns resulted in a huge escalation of mental health illnesses, even in children. Much has been written about it, but this article shows just what a broad spectrum of the population has been affected.
Image by a friend - the photographer Hendrik Louw
How to climb out of that hole
I wrote about How I regained and maintain my mental health about three years ago and would like to briefly share some of those with you. Remember this is not professional advice, it merely is tools that I used, BUT, I had to take my medication as well, that is until I discovered Meditation!
- Keep a balance between work and play - stop and smell the roses!
- Make your own little sanctuary at home
- Verbalise your feelings to someone you trust, and do not be ashamed to talk about it. I still find it ludicrous that people talk openly about high blood pressure etc etc, but whisper when it comes to mental illnesses!
- Do not only rely on popping a pill; find a mental health practitioner or a trusted holistic healer and counselor and stay with the program - it takes hard work but it is so worth it!
- Look after your physical health by eating a well-balanced diet. You need a healthy body to fight mental illness!
- Walking and any other form of exercise is one of the greatest tools as it gets the endorphins going.
- Get stuck into your favourite hobby, as one becomes more focused and forget about the darkness.
- Leisure times - feed your soul with short breakaways, even just a day at the beach or the park.
- Music therapy is a fabulous tool that also helps with many other conditions.
- Last but not least - Meditation - the very best tool to help overcome depression, stress, insomnia and many other afflictions that are part of mental illnesses.
Edit to my post:
Blogging has helped me tremendously during the past few months when mom Lily's brain tumour started causing havoc and eventually led to her death. I believe it has kept me from sinking into that dark pit again, as it helps me focus and verbalize my feelings, instead of bottling it all up inside my head!
Why am I sharing this with our Silvery folk?
It is a known fact that many people feel dejected after being discarded by the corporate world, and some sink into depression, so look out for the signs and just be there for your loved ones, and if you yourself start feeling this way, do not delay in getting help!
Suicide is not painless
Finally, as I learned all those years ago, and then again when my youngest son experienced the loss of a close friend who also took her own life four years ago, that suicide is one of the most difficult tragedies to deal with.
He was devastated, and still has not dealt with it as he made it his mission to save her from herself for over eight years, all in vain!
My heart is aching tonight for a young life lost way too soon.
A sweet and gentle soul who was too fragile to take the knocks of life.
Angie made many attempts on her life, twice nearly got it right, but this time succeeded!
Suicide leaves scars that never heal and has a ripple effect for years to come; they fade but the memory of that awful event stays with one forever, so if you see someone in need, lend a helping hand and make sure they get help from a trusted professional.
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