He was gone a long while ago, what can you do?
If there are things you love to have done for him,
rest assured you did them forward - to us your offspring, and to others too.
so whatever it is that you feel so sorry about, release them now,
rid them from your heart forever, and don't live with a guilt-ridden soul.
This was drafted while I was attending to Dad at the hospital some time ago. He'd been hinting at some deep regrets through his tales of his own father but refused to share what he did. While he is so open and straightforward when talking about other things, he's so elusive in that particular subject and he only brings it out when he feels so vulnerable (i.e. when he's sick) to the point that he becomes so emotional about it and cries.
My Dad, my two sisters, and I used to go to my grandparents each weekend and spend time with them when I was still in high school. From our observation, things were fine between them so it baffles us that our father had been hiding something all this time.
My grandpa was a very reserved man and one who seemed to not have any ounce of anger in him. He spent most of the last decade of his life visiting his friends and relatives before he went to the beyond 25 years ago. I think he touched many lives as shown by the outpouring of support during his wake until the day of his interment.
I believe that at some point in our lives, there are things that we wish we could have done or said, but then missed the chance to do so. All too often, those things make us feel compunctious when we get to remember them. It becomes unhealthy when we let them weigh us down. We know for sure that the only way to release the burden from our hearts is to forgive ourselves. Of course, that's easier said than done. I know all too well because I have had my own battles of such years ago.
It got me to the point where I felt so sensitive, defensive, and alone. It wasn't until I had some reflections that I realized how my life was getting wasted because of things I had no control over. That was when I decided to rid myself of the emotional baggage, start gaining back my good spirits, and live better again. Since then, I become intentional about being forgetful of things that don't contribute to my joy and well-being. It's a tough thing to do at first but it gets easier over time.
I do hope that my own father (and others out there who are hurting) will do the same thing - forgive themselves, let go of what they cannot do, and embrace a life with little to no regrets.
Happy new week and let's start afresh!