Maybe some of you have also felt the same way, I will tell you the journey of my life from childhood to adulthood, it would be very long maybe if I describe everything, but this time I will summarize it and take the points only, since I was a child my life uncertain because of my family's economic factors, I live in a small house with my mother and brother, while my father has to migrate abroad to find sustenance there, even there the work is uncertain, sometimes there is sometimes no work.
At that time I really hoped to quickly become an adult so that I could help my mother and father, in my mind life after adulthood was very fun, I thought after I grew up I could work wherever I like to make money, I saw my neighbor who already growing up then, he can work and buy whatever he wants, i didn't think about anything at that time, i just hope i can grow up fast and i will work like him and then i can buy whatever i want , as simple as that in my mind.
But when I grew up, everything I thought at that time was not as easy as turning the palm of my hand, I even thought if I could go back to childhood, I would be a child forever, it was so hard to live life as an adult, I have felt rejected when applying for a job, I've also felt that I have no money at all, I've also felt that I have debt and can't pay it when it's due, complete, I've felt all of that, even more painfully I was at the lowest point in my life, where at that time I was despised by the people around me and also my friends.
Maybe not for everyone, but for me with my current situation, life after growing up is not as fun as I imagined it used to be, maybe not always, I've also been in a good position once in a while, but if on average my life Currently it is still far from what I aspired to be, and this is still a question in my life, whether I will find a decent life without having to think about where else to apply for tomorrow's job.
Even so, should I give up? Of course not, I was awakened by the common sense that I have, my mind tells me that my job right now is to live, live, be grateful, and try as much as possible, get rid of all negative thoughts in my head, and one word that I still remember to this day, "THE WHEEL IS STILL TURNING, LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS BROKEN." I believe that God still loves me, maybe this is not the right time for me to get everything I want, maybe God has planned something better for me In the future, it doesn't matter that my youth is less exciting, I hope and pray to God to give me a decent life in my old age, because I know that old age is no longer possible for me to work using muscles and energy.
The conclusion is, since I was a child until now I have grown up, I am still haunted by fear, and often I am terrorized by the question in my mind, "what should I do tomorrow to meet my needs the day after tomorrow" means until now. I don't have any savings at all, and what's even worse is that until now I don't have a permanent job, I wanted to throw away my diploma because I was disappointed with the lack of job opportunities in my country.
But never mind, that's okay, until now I still consider it part of the process.
as much as possible I try to stay calm with a grip of hope that I still hold to this day, as much as possible I hide my anxiety from my parents, friends, and people who know me, let me continue to live my life with confidence strong and with confidence I will find a way to a better life in the future.
KEEP THINKING POSITIVE AND THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING GOD HAS GIVEN.