Today was the day....I became a criminal.
It wasn't like I had intended it to work out that way at all, but you see, sometimes life happens like that and you have to do what you have to do.
My neighbour had called me over to help her set up a gazebo and when I got back, I couldn't open the door. My key turned in the lock, but the click slink sound that I have become so accustomed to simply wasn't there. It was like turning a kids toy steering wheel that isn't attached to anything other than the imagination of a three year old.
I tried it numerous times. It didn't budge. I swore a lot under my breath and my neighbour perturbed asked "you okay there? What's wrong?"
"Hmmm, I think I've locked myself out of the house"
"Oh shit! No! You're joking"
"I'm afraid not"
She came over and tried the same...still nothing budged, it was locked, double locked and the key action was doing sweet bugger all.
Of course it also happened that I didn't carry a spare set of keys on me...because I'm woefully unprepared. Yes. I said it. This was entirely my own fault and I'm certainly not proud of it, especially as I've mapped out this house so well knowing that if I get locked out, the place is like fucking fort nox and there would be little way of fixing the shituation other than
Becoming a criminal and breaking in!
My neighbour and I tried spraying lubricating oil into the lock. Nope. We tried to muscle our way in. Like that ever actually helps hahahahah, well it did sweet fuck all today.
I then went to all the windows and doors and tried each of them on the off chance that I left one open. Nope.
You see being safety conscious also sometimes comes with it's own drawbacks. I never leave ANYTHING open. I don't sleep with windows open, I lock all the doors and double check them before I got to bed. I like to make sure that all of the internal slam lock doors are shut and secure when I leave or when I sleep.
Well, needless to say, tonight that won't be the case. I'll be sleeping with one window less in this house which I've basically barricaded closed with furniture until the morning when I can get a sheet of glass cut and then I'll spend a good amount of time tomorrow getting dirty with window putty and nail rust from putting the thing together. Sexy don't you think?
But gosh, I felt like an absolute criminal today. I HATE breaking glass no matter the form of it and today I had to smash a whole panel into pieces and then shimmy my way through the tiny window careful to avoid the glass on the sill and down below. I managed to escape unscathed, but I have to wonder if this kind of counts as urban exploration if it's your own house you're having to gain entry to?
After what felt like hours of cleaning up glass, taking the side panels off the window frame and generally securing the place again, I let the landlord know. The door lock had suffered a catastrophic failure and had ceased operation. It really was just a mechanical failure that couldn't be helped. He didn't seem too worried as he understood that the lock in the door had failed and I needed a way in. He's agreed to replace the lock the next time he's here and reimburse me for the replacement window. Still cheaper than a fucking locksmith! Luckily I chose to break the one that was already cracked so I basically did some of his maintenance for him (I'm totally trying to justify this to myself in every way possible).
While I lost a substantial amount of time gaining entry back into my house, I haven't felt that much relief in a long time. There really is no place like home when you've been locked out of the fucking thing.
All things considered it wasn't a bad day, but I still feel like a criminal. If anything good came of this, I've now got a spare set of keys hanging on my keychain so this won't have to happen again. Pity I hadn't done it sooner. You always put off these things until this kind of shit happens. I know, I'm a dumbass. I'll be the first to admit it.
If I'm not around on Hive tomorrow, then you know that some psychopath has got into my house and done away with me. I'm quite sure that won't happen but if it does they'll have to deal with me brandishing my myriad assortment of weapons first. Fun times (not).
FML lol
How did your day go?