Yesterday I talked about wanting to write fiction. But the thing is, I’m a person who is too lazy to start anything. I have a hundred scenarios in mind both with vivid beginnings and emotional endings, but an empty middle. So whenever I try to write down a story, I get burnt out after the first few chapters. I even tried to plan my way through before starting, which proved to be another problem altogether because to me, writing a story is like going on an adventure by yourself. If I already know what the next page will hold, what’s the point of writing it down?? Thus, my struggle continues.
I’ve seen that I work better in fragments. Writing up specific scenes rather than going at it chapter by chapter, I write rather well like that. People may find the process a bit odd, but it works well for me, as I, most of the time, write based on emotions. To me, if you aren’t feeling happy, you can’t really write out a happy scene. Yes, you can paint out a scenario that might resemble happiness, but writing, in its rawest form, comes from emotions. And what’s the point, of writing out a half-assed attempt at something you are clearly not feeling?
So yeah, I've always been a rather complicated writer. This is why lately I had started to avoid writing fiction. It takes up too much of my time, asks for more than I can give, and is something that is strong enough to keep me awake at night even when I have classes in the morning. But like a possessive lover, she has yet to cease her call towards me. And so I’ve been dragged again into the world of overwriting and overthinking, hour-long sessions spent staring at the screen, trying to find just the right word that fits. A painful pleasure it is really.
I’ve had a couple of outlines I wanted to dabble in. One is pure comedy. Another is, not so much and something else entirely. I’m not even sure if any of these will see the light of this blockchain, or any other publishing site for that. I’ve always been rather a privet with these things. But who knows, if I think they amount to something, I might just post a couple of chapters down, and see where that takes me.
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