My brother committed suicide he was consuming too much alcohol. My aunt and uncle got him married despite his inability to work and his attitude to just please people around. My parents did the same to me but I moved out of house and also built career but remained single and now in next few years reaching 40s. I have all the reasons to commit suicide considering nobody will look after me in old age. I have no idea why I am even alive for.

None of the dreams, none of the happiness ever met. But I am just alive like zombie for god knows why. World is never fair but the thing is that you can't fight in this world all the time. You burn out and become zombie. I am just living a day at a time and waiting for death. Suicide is possible and rightfully should be done but I have no idea what is stopping me. Living in 3rd world life is even more harder.

I like how suicide prevention places are there but if only world becomes less threatening and less competitive, people would not commit suicide. And maybe they will just have some space and pace to live with others.

You are doing good work, knowing this side of the life, I can't say about success but yeah godspeed.