The way we feel and experience our lives can be significantly impacted by negative memories. In some cases, it is these memories that seem to recur repeatedly and ruin our present mood thereby making us feel stuck. I discovered that understanding as well as reshaping these memories may change one’s attitude toward life.
It is our recollections that affect the manner in which we feel. When one feels down, he or she will recall sad events; on the other hand, when happy people think of what makes them joyful. This process is instrumental in maintaining a sense of congruence between what we are currently experiencing and the past. For instance, feeling unappreciated at my job reminded me of many instances during which I felt similarly mistreated such as a disappointing birthday of mine back then when I was small.
These reminiscences and sensations appear to foster each other hence trapping me into a circle full of negativism.
But there is an escape. Remembrances are not immutable; they may be altered over the years and after learning new facts. In such a light, it is possible to change our memory of events unconsciously. This can be achieved through cognitive reconstruction, which involves finding alternative interpretations of memories.
Consider my personal experience during my birthday party when I was younger. Probably, there wasn’t any celebration because I wasn’t valued highly or it would have been a busy period for us as a family amongst other reasons that were far from passing through my thoughts then. By questioning and distorting these memories, their effect on my current mood can be modified.
To make a better recollection, one can also add other new positive things to these memories. I may imagine myself as an adult at that birthday party and then rejoice it, appreciating the child in me. This does not change what happened but alters my feelings about it now.
This is something therapists often do so as to help people stop being held by the past on their present emotions. Seeking professional help might be necessary if you find yourself grappling with more traumatic memories. However, for everyday negative memories, trying these techniques can make a big difference.
So all I'm really trying to say is that our mood and attitude towards life are largely affected by our memory. These memories we have can be understood and reworked in such a way as to break this cycle of negativeness thereby allowing us to experience more joy in our current state. It’s a process of interpreting our history favorably while keeping us healthy, enabling us to adopt an optimistic perspective.