The fragility of life

I often wonder what kind of excuses I'd be coming up with to explain the current state of affairs, had my first miscarriage been viable. My son would've been turning 15 in the next month.
I wouldn't have been able to look him in the eyes and truthfully say that I've done everything in my power to give him the best world possible.
I wouldn't know how to explain the slow erosion of our Civil Rights, or Constitution that our Government is supposed to hold in high esteem.
I wouldn't know the right way to express my distain for the systematic dumbing down of our children's education; I don't know how awake I would've been having him and if he'd be homeschooled or in this deplorable system.
I wouldn't know what to tell him about the chemtrails being sprayed into our bodies without our consent or how it might affect his ability to reproduce, if the GMO's in our food doesn't kill him first...
I wonder what my excuse would've been, when he asked me why he was treated differently than his black best friend or his Native American friends, and why police are killing people and our pets left and right without any real justification...
I wonder if I'd be brave enough to tell him to be strong, and stand by their sides.
I truly wonder what my excuses would be for what my generation hasn't bothered to do, to make the world a better place for his.
I wonder what my excuses would be, for why our tomorrows are still no better than our todays, if my son had survived...
Just having an introspective day, here in the desert. Beautiful day out today, wonder what tomorrow will be like...