I’ve lived in depression & anxiety because I’ve lived out of balance –
Planting seeds that have brought such harvests –
Nurturing self-limiting thoughts with focus –
Stubbornly choosing familiar patterns over uncomfortable change…
I’ve known joy & ease because I’ve allowed myself to live in flow –
Grateful for the content of the moment –
Trusting its perfection in the greater context –
Being no more or less than who I truly am…
I’ve lived in frustration & anger because I’ve lived from the ego –
Dissatisfied with all the blessings in my life –
Wanting more & more, ceaselessly craving –
Overthrown by greed, desire, & selfishness…
I’ve known laughter & delight because I’ve forgotten the mind’s illusions –
Freely improvising with life’s sets –
Centered in spirit in the present –
Letting what is be & be wonderful…
I’ve lived in tension & pain because I’ve lived in ignorance of natural laws –
Disconnected from truth, investing in falsehoods –
Claiming independence, choosing isolation –
Immaturely struggling for misguided values…
I’ve known peace & contentment because its who I am behind the masks –
In the absence of thought, breathing –
A part of nature, unfolding –
Nowhere to go, nothing to do, no one to be…
I’ve made it much harder on myself than need be –
Intellectually smart, though not always making such smart decisions –
Knowing the right path, though insisting on walking my own –
Intuitively guided, though often not listening…
I’ve held myself back –
Ambition on full throttle, while keeping the brakes locked –
Going through the motions, while not changing at the core –
Committed to growth, while narrowly defining how that growth is to occur…
I’ve been my own worst enemy –
Working against myself to sustain the comfort of routine –
Distracting myself, spending hours & years counter-productively –
Hiding from my shadows & fears, living in the illusion of my best’s dominance…
With awareness, comes the power to change –
Living blind before, choices limited –
While seeing options now, able to choose differently –
So where will I go from here?
The decision remains ours to make in each moment –
Live in the light, or darkness?
Live by the Truth, or with its concealment/
Live through spirit, or ego?
written September 2010