I’ve loan
ed blood
to soil
ed hands
violence that
comes with
a side of
fries and
a boy
tearing
or tearing
the legs of
a spider
off
my blood
ied soil
stain
ed hands
a crack of
jaw or smile
splitting the
face of
a boy
with a side
of stitch
es and ice
cream
or cry
ing the
seam
seems to
have come
undone
my blank
et in soil
ed hands
violet like
bruise
d fruit or
violent
like eye
s that catch
the light
I grasp at
clasps that
seal my lip
s shut like
my jacket
I leave on
to hide that
I’m not
cold.
Rare for me to write something this vulnerable, but here we are.
A handful of years ago I was introduced to a book, 'The Will to Change' by Bell Hooks.
This book helped me in not only self-identifying as a feminist, but also understanding what that would mean for a CIS white man, often unprogramming a lot of my learned toxic masculinity and learning how to become and be an ally and find a voice to speak against problems (read "other men") while balancing the need for that voice to be one of support.
It's an ongoing process, but I'm incredibly thankful to Bell Hooks for setting me on a better path for my life.
When I was a wee lad, I got into a few fights with an older and bigger kid because he would pull the legs off of daddy long leg spiders; these never ended well for me.
I bought into a lot of toxic masculinity that was part of the culture of my upbringing, hiding bruises and writing them off and developing a self-depreciative complex to cope with being bullied for being strange: things like showing love for spiders, having an accent and lacking confidence.
So yeah, all this to say, Happy 'fuck every guy who searched "when is international men's day" on google' Day. Cheers.
Written for free-verse poetry maven @d-pend's amazing poetry initiative The 100 Day Poetry Challenge undertaken for Steemit School where @d-pend will be hosting a daily poetry show at 7 PM GMT - Advanced Group.
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