How we look at the world affects us much more than the events of the world itself and no matter how bad things get, how we approach them fundamentally shifts the way we deal and, the way we recover or are harmed.
One of my favourite movies is Life Is Beautiful, written, starring and directed by Roberto Benigni. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it but since it is over 20 years old now, I think some spoilers are okay. It tells of a Jewish father and young son who are sent to a Nazi concentration camp and instead of subjecting his son to the harsh realities of the existence, he made a game out of it instead with the goal to survive. Framing is important and can fundamentally change a persons life path.
I heard of a study that looked at survivors of the concentration camps of World War 2 and there were two distinct groups, those that were damaged by the experience, and those that were released. The difference between the two groups were that one saw themselves as victims, the other as survivors. There were large differences in life experience past their release based on this. The victims were bitter and largely lonely and depressed, the grateful enjoyed life and had healthier relationships. Again, framing matters.
We often play the victim, lay blame and feel helpless by circumstance but how often is it true and how often could we reframe our position and make the most of it by turning events and experience into learning and strengths that we can later call upon? Can we come to terms with our negative situations by reformulating circumstance and repositioning how we think and feel about them?
I don't mean to avoid it through illusion or delusion though as that only ends in a fog of half-truths. What I mean is to understand the values of the experiences even when it is hard, painful and tears at who we are. Can we take an event that burns us to ashes and use what we have learned to rise anew, become a phoenix, become something altogether different, and better than we were prior?
I think it is possible, I may even know a little about it through my own limited experiences. It is impossible to compare though, except with the self between what walked into the fires and who walked out the other side.
Taraz
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