Anger arises mostly for trivial reasons, but in that particular moment it usually feels the opposite of trivial.
Therefore, many of us have difficulties to calm down and see things in a more objective way.
But there's a powerful tool that helps us to cope better with such situations: stoic philosophy.
The Stoics teach us to live in a more conscious way.
Living more conscious allows us to take a step back, when we're in a moment of blind anger.
Inspired by the Stoics, the philosopher Massimo Pigliucci shared with us a list of ancient wisdoms for modern times. Here they are:
- Engage in preemptive meditation: think about what situations trigger your anger, and decide ahead of time how to deal with them.
- Check anger as soon as you feel its symptoms. Don’t wait, or it will get out of control.
- Associate with serene people, as much as possible; avoid irritable or angry ones. Moods are infective.
- Play a musical instrument, or purposefully engage in whatever activity relaxes your mind. A relaxed mind does not get angry.
- Seek environments with pleasing, not irritating, colours. Manipulating external circumstances actually has an effect on our moods.
- Don’t engage in discussions when you are tired, you will be more prone to irritation, which can then escalate into anger.
- Don’t start discussions when you are thirsty or hungry, for the same reason.
- Deploy self-deprecating humour, our main weapon against the unpredictability of the Universe, and the predictable nastiness of some of our fellow human beings.
- Practise cognitive distancing – what Seneca calls ‘delaying’ your response – by going for a walk, or retire to the bathroom, anything that will allow you a breather from a tense situation.
- Change your body to change your mind: deliberately slow down your steps, lower the tone of your voice, impose on your body the demeanour of a calm person.
If you've liked this article, please consider buying Pigliucci's book How to Be a Stoic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Living