It's easy to get caught up on the external environment and everything that is happening. The problem that it seems many of us run into is that we neglect to see ourselves as part of everything that is happening and in that mindset it feels like everything is happening to us. From this perspective, everything can be taken personally and it's easy to get caught up in the victim mentality of it all. The truth that I've found is that nothing is happening to us as we are as much of the happening as we are the one it's happening to in the grand scheme of things. So how do we get unstuck or escape that separatist view of existence?
My experience has been that we have to stop seeing ourselves as separate from the rest of existence and look within ourselves for the answers or acceptance that we are seeking. It's easy to get pissed off when someone cuts in front of us at the checkout line or things don't go the way we planned, but if we look inwards instead of externally for the resolution to these occurrences, we can often find that in some way, we allowed or wanted this thing to happen. We do this through our own thoughts, actions, expectations, and sense of entitlement. The idea that anyone owes us anything needs to be removed to get unstuck.
It takes a lot of mindfulness and self awareness to solve these issues though, and perhaps there in lies the problem. It's a bit of a chicken and the egg situation when it comes to awareness. You can't make yourself aware anymore than anyone else can make you aware of something. It doesn't really matter how it's worded or how many ways it's communicated if someone can't fathom that they lack this intangible thing or that it even exists. Perhaps it's the same reason why people believe in things like magic or the supernatural. It's just their way of understanding, rationalizing, or rejecting something beyond their own comprehension. What I view as spirituality and self awareness can just as easily be viewed as 'woo woo' by someone that doesn't share that perspective.
Acceptance seems to be fundamental to gaining perspective, perhaps the answer stems from there. If we can accept that we have a limited perspective and that others do as well, then perhaps we can take things less personally. It really doesn't even require us to understand the other person's perspective to recognize that their actions are not about us anymore than ours are about them. If people are fundamentally just playing their parts and focusing on themselves, it's rather a waste of time to bother blaming as it's simply giving away our own power to accept things. Blaming a person for cutting you off in the checkout line is kind of comical when you realize that you are both just caught up in the expectation that you have some sort of control of when or how you get somewhere.
If we can see that we are as much a part of reality as anything else, then ultimately it's just giving ourselves a reality check. The person that cut us off is just playing their part as much as we are and if we can see that, then there is no need to react as it's simply our own desire for control that made us upset in the first place. The more hostility and negativity we put out into reality, the more returns to us. We can think of it as karma if we want or just consider it logically. Violence begets violence and peace begets peace. The more we react to the universe, the more it reacts to us. Essentially there is no one to blame but ourselves at the end of the day as we are equally a part of reality.
From this understanding, it seems obvious to me that the more 'stuck' we feel, the more reason we will receive to feel stuck. The more we resist change, the more change will get thrown at us until we stop resisting. There is no way to control existence and the more we try to control existence through other people or things and the environment around us, the more out of control we are going to feel when things don't go according to our plans. On the contrary if we can find peace within ourselves and just accept the universe as it is, it will in turn accept us as we are and the experience, at least in my opinion, is much more enjoyable. Namaste.