Are we hard wired to crave the past times?
One of my favorites movies is Midnight in Paris, a true Gem written and directed by Woody Allen. The whole synopsis of this piece goes around the idea of craving to live in the past, in a different period of time. The main character played by Owen Wilson, truly believes he is from another era and he was just unlucky to have been born in a time where he doesn´t belong.
Have you ever felt that way?
You know, when watching an old movie; perhaps while reading a book; sometimes when you listen to classic music? I bet you have felt this way at one point of your life. That sensation we get of not belonging to this time, that maybe if we were born 20 years earlier our lives would be completely different and we might have achieved our goals or perhaps met that girl of our dreams... or at least life would be different than what it is today.
But, how can we feel nostalgia for something we haven´t lived or experienced?
I believe we can feel a craving for those past times even if we didn´t experienced them but I wouldn´t call it nostalgia, nostalgia for me it is that feeling we get when we miss someone, something, a specific place or a situation.
- Do you remember how you felt when you were a kid and you used to spend Christmas with the whole family?
- Can you still picture those saturdays when every week you played football with your pals?
- Is it easy for you to feel again those sensations you got when opening Christmas gifts in December?
- How do you react when those evenings with your first love come to your mind?
You see, that is nostalgia. That feeling of sorrow you get when you compare old feelings against what you are feeling today.
The past is always going to look better, to feel happier. But that´s only because we tend to idealize those situations, the people, the places, the experiences.
But hey, nostalgia is like an old girlfriend. We will always remember the good stuff but, the moment you get back together, you realize why you broke up with her.
To be honest, I was a sucker for nostalgia
I was in constant sorrow. Even when I knew that it is all a mirage, for me the past was always looking better than the present. At least my past versus my present - I don´t know about your past, perhaps it was shitty compared to your present - and it doesn´t matter if my present seemed perfect, it was never going to be enough, I would always feel like I miss something, to feel like I should´ve done things differently or maybe enjoyed life more.
Last year, around this time of the year I read a book called Remember, be Here Now and it changed my life completely.
I started to enjoy the present and, no matter what, stop thinking about the future or the past, just being Here and Now.
I can´t explain you how I got here, i guess you have to read the book. The thing is, I still have felt nostalgic at some point, I can´t help it, maybe I am hardwired to want to go back in time and enjoy those moments, or perhaps to change them, or possibly just to remember how I felt when I was living them. But the important part here isis, even when I´ve felt nostalgic, it doesn´t hurt anymore.
It´s as if I learned to miss without the pain that missing brings to our hearts. I guess this life lesson came at the best moment in my life, because I´ve met so many people, visited so many places, experienced a bunch of sensations and feelings that, if I felt nostalgic for each and every one of them, I would be depressed all the time.
I am not going to lie, I do miss things or people from time to time, but being so focused in living the Here and Now, sometimes there is no time to miss, otherwise, nostalgia would attack you that very moment, where instead of enjoying the moment, you used that time to miss the past.
But, If I have to be completely honest, if I had one superpower, I would probably choose being able to travel in time, not to be able to win the lottery or maybe do something differently... I would just relive my life the same way it went down but this time, I would always remember to enjoy the moment, to maximize the experiences I already lived, to get the most out of every place, person and feeling that came my way, I would focus in being happy, without worrying if I was happy before or if I will be happy in the future.
