I love being a mother, it is challenging and tiring, it has it's ups and downs. But it is something that I feel very comfortable with, it feels right for me to be a mum.
I always knew I wanted to be one, even though as a young girl I was encouraged to succeed in life, to finish school, go to college and get a successful job. Because after all that is what success is, isn't it.
Well success means different things to different people, the same can be said for happiness and wealth. I have very little money, but I feel incredibly wealthy with regards to my lifestyle and my health. I have been able to choose to stay at home with my children, to be active in their education and to witness the many milestones that they have reached so far in their lives.
This is what I wanted and because of that I am happy, I do realize, that not every parent would want the life I lead and that is fine by me. One of the things, that makes this world so exciting, is that we are all so different, we bring so many different ideas and experiences with us, that we can then share with one another.
Today my middle daughter came up to me upset. My daughter is 5 years old and at times she can get very sensitive and emotional, which is just how it is and I love her for it. Today however she was upset because her older sisters friend, threaten to break her neck if she didn't stop following them.
Hold on a minute here, some one just threaten to hurt my daughter, inside I am roaring, on the inside I am that Lioness, ferocious and very protective of my young. I wanted to go into attack mode, but luckily I was feeding my youngest daughter, so I had all those lovely love hormones racing through my body and slowing me down some.
My eldest daughter is 8 and her friend is 12. Now in my eyes a 12 year old knows the difference between right and wrong. She certainly should know that it is not ok to threaten a 5 year old, because she is just being a 5 year old and wanting to be with her big sister. I called my eldest daughter in, who at first denied that her friend said that, but in the end admitted that she did.
I asked her if she thought it was ok to say something like that to some body else. She said no, and also that she was too shy to stick up for her sister. I can understand this because my eldest is shy and she looks up to this older girl. But I wanted her to know that it is not ok for someone to come to your home and threaten a member of your family. Well it's not ok for anyone to threaten you anywhere.
I went to this girl and asked her what happened, she went very quiet and when I retold what my daughter said , she didn't deny it, but was clearly uncomfortable. I told her that I was disappointed that she would say that to anyone, let alone a 5 year old. Threatening is not ok ever. I was actually shaking a bit saying this to her. In the end I asked her to leave, because in the past I have had a similar incident with her,she didn't threaten my daughter but she was quiet rude, and I told her if she done something like that again that she would not be welcome here.
I have heard some parents talk about how it is important to let kids sort out their own disagreements and to not get involved, but when it is between a 5 year old and 12 year old I had to step in.
The thing is though that this girl comes from a very unstable home and I think it is good for her to come and visit us. She always acts so grown up, because I think she had to grow up quickly, yet she is still a child and she identifies with the wildness in my eldest daughter and for that reason they get on quite well. I would like to reach out to her, but I will not tolerate anyone using threatening behaviour. I take it very serious and I want her to see that behaviour like that is not acceptable.
But my heart does go out to her. I do feel that I made the right decision asking her to leave, but where do I go from here?
It is late now in my part of the world and I will probably think it through better in the morning, but this is one challenge that has brought out my fierce Mama protector side and but also has me wanting to reach out to this young girl who could do with some TLC in her life.
What is a mama to do?
