I share my concerns gently out loud. They trust I don't make executive decisions or get concerned easily. They are inclined to reassure/explain to me or hear my concerns and mull it over.
Sometimes they might shout at me for a while and get frustrated.
But what I did from the start is always give their opinions full attention and value & discussed a lot of stuff with them as a natural part of parenting.
I changed my opinions when given good reason.
I believed and trusted their reassurances.
I trusted and I didn't organise or prune things for them.
From little they made their decisions and they've made good ones.
If I’m really concerned, I'd get into a cosy space with her where she knows it's her decision and responsibility. I'd talk with her about what's working for her in that environment and what's not and I'd let her talk about what she can come up with that may make the balance suit her better.
Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash
I would not suggest solutions. She has them all in her head.
I'd let her know to look for them in her head and be available to discuss them, only if she wants.
If she doesn't want to I’d know I need to start going out for mother-daughter dates more often to mend the connection.
Always, our NUMBER ONE priority has to be to promote connection so they have access to our advice and will trust themselves and us.