If you could have any super power, what would you pick and why?
How often have we heard that? It's the type of question teachers use to lure students into writing more than just a single word answer. It's a question that gets asked among friends of varying ages, at least that's been my experience. I've even used it as a brainstorming prompt with my own homeschooled (borderline unschooled) kids during one of those rare occasions that we've gotten through breakfast, morning chores and outside play with time to spare (and without any injuries or meltdowns) before it's time to start preparing lunch. Usually the answers seem to be about physical abilities--flying, super strength, X-ray vision. Sometimes, however, you hear, "I would want to see the future!" This one always made me cringe a little because there are somethings I would not want to know, such as things that are beyond my control or worse mess with my true path.
Let me take this opportunity to introduce myself. I’m a crunchy, borderline unschooler with a Waldorf-ish flair. I’m married to a permaculturalist gun-toting hippie that does not smoke pot, but respects your right to do so. I have 4 wild beautiful children, one of which has crazy allergies, gut issues and high-functioning spectrum issues (SPD and ODD) but is the most tender-hearted wise old soul. I love having engaging conversations with open-minded individuals who are honestly curious and not just looking for a flaw to pounce on. When these rare gems occur I love talking about fermented foods, sustainability, limited government, co-creation and the possibility for religion, science and spirituality to co-exist if large scale establishments would get out of the way.
But…
I haven’t always been this way. At least, not on the outside. We were your typical suburban family. My husband worked for the local university and I was a stay at home mom with a Liberal Studies degree who might go back to work once the kids were in school, but in the meanwhile jumped on the couponing craze, stocking up on insanely cheap junk cereal and toiletries. We lived on the north side of town in a lovely 2000 sq ft track home with a new park down the street and a weekly farmer’s market and Starbucks all within walking distance. We also lived within 10 minutes of both sets of grandparents. Life was good. We were content.
If that mom had known what would transpire a few years later on our way to this new life, she might have said no.
If I had known that we would actually get a full price offer on our home the very first day…
If I had known how often you actually have to go out and dump the grey and black water for a family of 5 in a 33 ft trailer…
If I had known our first day without our washer someone would vomit… And the next day sister would also be upchucking… on her birthday…
If I had known that same week that my grandmother would pass and I would discover I was pregnant on the same day…
If I had known we would have our first experience with poison oak… more laundry…
If I had known what it is like to take 3 kids to a laundrymat…
If I had known how much of a pain it is to cook for a family of 5 in a travel trailer…
If I had known how hard it is to find decent cell and internet service at RV sites so that hubby could work remote…
If I had known that first day on the road out of state, my in-laws, who were following behind to support us and help with watching the kids so we could go out and look at properties would crash and total their own truck and trailer…(thankfully no major injuries, but they couldn’t continue with us)
If I had known the toll that watching the entire accident unfold in the rearview mirror would take on my husband…
If I had known that the accident would cause a delay that had us in 113 degree heat with 3 kids in a truck that suddenly could either pull the trailer effectively or run the A/C but not both at the same time…
If I had known what it would sound like to hear mice scratching around looking for ways into my pantry…
If I had known what it would feel like to have said mouse land on my foot and scurry out of the trailer while we were trying to catch it! (Eeeeeel! Still gives me the creeps!)
If I had known we would spend months in the travel trailer, frantically looking for a property that met our requirements before the snow hit, fearful that the baby would be born while we were ‘homeless”…
If I had known the property we would eventually buy 1 week before our first experience of real North Idaho snow, was an empty 40x50 sq ft shop that we would back the trailer in to and hunker down for winter…
If I had known what it was like to smell sewage when I was just trying to catch up on dishes or heaven forbid take a shower in the middle of the night while the kids were sleeping because I’d forgotten to dump the grey/black, resulting in a very grumpy groggy hubby going out with a headlamp to take care of it…
If I had known we would spend 18 months living in that trailer before moving into our still unfinished home…
If I had known these things I can pretty safely say I would not have signed on for this adventure, but now that I’m here, I’m so glad I didn’t know. I’m so glad I got to experience these things and that my kids got to have this adventure. Life is not about just being content. It’s digging deep and taking chances. It’s the ups and downs that pave the way for growth and self-exploration. These experiences are gifts to our children as well. A few did not approve of this aspect and some relationships were strained at times, but my kids had the opportunity of a lifetime. All the while, I had supportive friends asking me how we were and saying how impressed they were by our bravery and sense of adventure. I had a few that wanted me to write about it then, but I couldn’t because at the moment I couldn’t see clearly. Looking back I compare it to working out- you damage your muscles a little bit, they heal, you overdo it and you’ve thrown your workout schedule and progress off. We kept our goals clear and we developed innovative ways to make things work, but there were plenty of times it felt like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Had I written then, I would have been doing everyone a disservice, myself included. This move was a metamorphosis for me. I don’t purport to be wise-quite the contrary, I still have much to learn, but I’m finally at peace with who I am. I’m more confident than I’ve ever been. And I’m finally ready to share the eclectic tid-bits I’ve learned and also some of our best learning moments (aka huge flops!)