Breathing is the short circuit for anxiety:
I know I know, you hear a lot about 'deep breathing' to help you relax and reduce anxiety, but bear with me.
Quicker, shallower breathing is the first trigger which catapults all the other anxious symptoms into action. So by controlling breathing you control all the other anxiety symptoms as well.
If you purposely breathe out longer than you breathe in, your body has to calm right down (regardless of what tricks your imagination is playing on you).
So if you start to feel fearful:
Stop
Focus on your breath
Take a breath in (to the quick count of 7 in your mind)
Then slowly breathe out (to the quick count of 11 in your mind)
Get control of your imagination:
Fear and anxiety thrive when we imagine the worst. We developed imagination to be able to project into the future so we can plan ahead. However, a side effect of being able to imagine possible positive futures is being able to imagine things going wrong.
A bit of this is useful; after all, there really might be muggers or loan sharks. But uncontrolled imagination is a nesting ground for anxiety and fear that can spoil otherwise happy lives.
Some people misuse their imagination:
chronically and so suffer much more anxiety than those who either future-project their imaginations constructively or who don't tend to think about the future much at all.
Anxious, chronic worriers tend to misuse their imaginations to the extent that upcoming events feel like catastrophes waiting to happen. No wonder whole lives can be blighted by fear and anxiety.
Some people don't even really know they are doing this. So:
Sit down and do your 7/11 breathing.
Count yourself down from whatever number you deem yourself to be to a 2 or a 1.
Prepare for peaceful performance:
If you get anxious and fear upcoming events, you'll notice that just thinking about that interview, speech, or whatever will start to cause physical responses – namely, anxiety.
So you might be thinking about next Wednesday's dental appointment and find yourself breathing more quickly or your palms getting moist.
This in turn primes your body to become even more anxious in the actual situation and so the vicious cycle continues.
And note the role of the imagination in priming your mind and body to feel fearful (see opening story.
Use a different part of your brain:
When we become very anxious, it's harder to think clearly. But if we force ourselves to use parts of 'the thinking brain', this will dilute the emotion and begin to calm you down.
The easiest way to do this is with numbers. You can scale your own fear from 1 to 10, 10 being the most terrified it's possible to be and 1 being the ultimate relaxed state.
When you're feeling anxious, ask yourself: "Okay what number on the scale am I right now? Am I a 7, or a 5?" Just doing this will lower anxiety because it kick-starts the thinking brain, diluting the emotion and automatically making you calmer.
Use the AWARE technique:
Fear and anxiety can feel as if they 'just happen to us', but we have much more control than we realize. AWARE is an acronym standing for:
A: Accept the anxiety. Don't try to fight it.
W: Watch the anxiety. Just watch it and when you notice it, scale your level of fear and start to breathe longer on the out-breath.
A: Stands for 'Act normally'. Carry on talking or behaving as if nothing is different. This sends a powerful signal to your unconscious mind that its over-dramatic response is actually not needed because nothing that unusual is going on
R: Repeat the above steps in your mind if necessary.
E: Expect the best. One of the greatest feelings in life is the realization that you can control fear much more than you thought possible.