During the nearly two and a half hour run time of Mission: Impossible - Fallout, not a single person in the crowded theater ever left their seat to use the restroom. Although it was not the most original or greatest movie I have ever seen, it simply flew by. No one in attendance was ever bored enough to notice their gradually filling bladders.
The impossible mission... make a geeky guy with a thimble-sized bladder forget he needs to go to the restroom.
Sorry to be so gross, but that is honestly the best way I can sum up this experience. The movie was so entertaining that no one wanted to miss a single moment of it. Is the film very original? Will it make you think? Is the acting sensational?
Nope... but that is not why you go to see a Mission: Impossible movie.
You go to see shit blow up real good!
... and to watch Tom Cruise get hit by a car.
I think I have seen all of the Mission: Impossible movies since the cinematic reboot began in 1996.
The fact that I can not quite remember could simply be yet another indication that I am getting old. Although that may indeed be the case, this lack of recollection is probably more of an indication that, although I am usually entertained by the Mission: Impossible series, aside from a few iconic scenes (like Tom Cruise dangling precariously above laser sensors) they simply aren't that memorable. The movies are merely vehicles for action sequences and unbelievable stunts.
Mission: Impossible - Fallout is no exception. During its 140 minute run time, there were very few moments when I was not being entertained by the visuals or sound. In addition to the typical mountain climbing stunts, there were a plethora of chase scenes. Let's see if I can remember all of the ways people chased each other:
- On foot
- Motorcycle vs car
- Motorcycle vs motorcycle
- Cars
- Helicopters
- Mountain climbing
Normally, I am not a big fan of chase scenes (unless they are in Baby Driver). I always know how they will end so I think they are usually a waste of my time. However, the creators of Mission: Impossible - Fallout managed to entertain me with most of the chases.
When the characters finally caught each other, there are well choreographed hand-to-hand battles as well as shoot outs. Although I am not a huge Tom Cruise fan (the dude is weird) he still manages to hold his own while performing his own stunts. Wait. That is not accurate. At age 56, Cruise is still one of the best when it comes to performing his own realistic stunts.
By far the best thing about this movie are the visuals and the sound. I was very happy I chose to spend the extra $5 to see this movie in a Dolby Cinema. If you are planning to see this movie, I highly recommend seeing it on the biggest screen with the best sound possible. I do not think this is intended to be Netflixed on your laptop.
Why would it be a waste to watch on a small screen?
I think movies that rely more heavily on plot rather than action can be enjoyed anywhere. Mission: Impossible - Fallout is not one of those movies. The plot is incredibly unrealistic, full of holes, and quite unoriginal. If you have seen just about any season of the television show 24 then you have seen this exact plot. In fact, I was waiting for Ethan Hunt and Jack Bauer to literally run into each other during one of the many chase sequences.
Don't believe me? Well let me sum up the entire plot in one sentence:
Secret agents need to retrieve stolen plutonium before it can be used to make nuclear weapons.
Get out of here Jack! Go find your own plutonium. This is Ethan's!
But honestly, who cares?
No one in the theater was there for the plot. They were there to see shit blow up real good!
And blow up real good it did!
Aside from the nearly non-stop action, my favorite part of this movie was the fact that the writers seemed to understand that the previous movies were not that memorable. As a result, they used a couple of tricks to bring people up to speed and remind them of who some characters were. Because of this, I feel that one could enjoy this movie even if they have never seen any of the previous installments (or simply forgot them all 30 seconds after the credits rolled).
This was pretty much all I remembered from the previous five movies.
For example, the movie begins with a dream sequence that reminds us that Ethan, played by Tom Cruise, had a love affair with a fellow agent and that he had recently captured a sinister villain with a really spooky voice. Later, Ving Rhames' character, Luther, reminds us all that Ethan had actually quit the game once and was married to a civilian. It was seriously like I was hearing this information for the first time. Thanks Luther!
Let's keep this really simple. If you are looking to turn off your brain (including the part that tells you that you need to use the restroom) and have a little lot of fun for two and one half hours at the theater, Mission: Impossible - Fallout is the movie for you.
But your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to find the theater near you with the best picture and sound. I promise that it will be worth it.
Geeky Guy's Movie Guide
Number of times I fell asleep: 0
Number of eye rolls: 0 (I disabled this function of my brain. The entire movie is ridiculous. If I had allowed eye rolls, I would have sprained my eyes!)
Number of face palms: 0 (See above.)
Number of times I went to the bathroom out of sheer boredom: 0 (Did you read the review? The entire premise is based on the sheer entertainment of this movie overcoming the biological urge to pee.)
Number of times I checked steemit: 0 (I forgot I had my phone on me.)
Full price/Matinee/Rental/Free/Not worth the time: If you are going to spend the 2 1/2 hours, you need to see this on the big screen.