Out Of Focus - A Month Without Smart Drugs

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It is no massive secret that I am a Modafinil user. I saw the film Limitless once, and did a search to see if there was a drug like the one portrayed in the film and the rest as they say, is history.

For those of you who aren't aware, Modafinil is a smart drug that has the unique distinction of having been passed safe by the World Health Organisation (WHO).

When you take Modafinil, you are able to concentrate on the most boring subjects for hours on end. In other words, it gives you laser like focus, and an energy that is not derived from a speedy-type amphetamine high.

I love it; and am a big advocate of it, I have introduced it to quite a few friends, and many strangers via affiliate links I used to run.

As far as frequency is concerned, I tend to take it between 3-5 days per week, depending on what sorts of tasks I have to do, and time pressures I'm under. Basically working 18 hour days under the influence of Modafinil seem fun!

However about six weeks ago, I was running out of my supply, and so I decided on a whim, that I was not going to restock for around 30 days.

I decided this in order to answer two questions:

  • Am I addicted to Modafinil? I mean, I know I'm not physically addicted. It's not like I get withdrawal symptoms or cravings, or get irritable if I don't take it. However I wanted to know if I was addicted, in the sense that I couldn't function without it.

  • Can I self motivate and maintain focus without it? Clearly the reason I got into Modafinil in the first place, was because of a lack of focus within me. I felt like my dedication didn't match my motivation, and it annoyed me. However after taking Modafinil for so long, I wondered if it would leave a residual effect on me.

So thus begun the 30 Days Without Modafinil.

Week 1 - The Sky's The Limit

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I have noticed before that the residual effects of Modafinil are quite powerful. That is to say, if I take it for 4 days straight, on the 5th day without it, I feel just as motivated and focused as I do when I'm on it.

So seeing as my last pill was on a Tuesday, for a few days my work output didn't really change at all. In fact I started wondering whether Modafinil had changed my brain chemistry for the better; forever!

This was exciting to me, because I always envied people who seemed to be able to focus without much effort at all.

I remember at school watching my fellow students revise for their exams, and I'd think; why can't I do that? Why can't I just sit down and study? It's not like I don't want to.

So the thought of suddenly being; one of those ultra-focused people was really quite exciting to me.

So far so good . . .

Week 2 - Early To Bed

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A massive benefit of Modafinil, is that you can survive on a hell of a lot less sleep than you can without it. For the last two and a half years, I have woken up at 5 a.m. on almost every single week day.

I started this early morning routine way back in 2014, around 8 months before I ever took any Modafinil. So I was quite used to it; however I found that taking the drug made early rising a lot easier. So somewhere along the line, it became the drug that was getting me up at five in the morning and not my own motivation.

Another enormous benefit is, that it just cuts through any hangover or grogginess you might be feeling. So even if I had a drink the night before, I could get up at five and be up to speed shortly after popping a wee pill.

So that was a rather roundabout and verbose way to tell you, by the end of week 2 without Modafinil, I was no longer waking up at 5 a.m.

Week 3 - Motivation Starts The Journey Focus Keeps You Going

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As I said earlier, for at least the past eight years or so, my motivation has been spot on. I have no problem in gearing myself up to start a project.

However without the necessary ingredient of focus, then the best of intentions just end up getting spread all over the place, with no aim and no purpose.

So before Modafinil, in order to stay focused I used a combination of the techniques that I have espoused in my Incredible You! series.

Through a combination of meditation, exercise and self-hypnosis, I moulded my mind into that of a calm and focused individual.

I found that even though I kept on doing all of that stuff, the Modafinil gave me a turbo boost that I missed. Add to that the fact that I was no longer getting up at five, so I had less time to meditate and exercise in the mornings; the feeling of losing focus was compounded.

Week 4 - Enough Already!

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At the beginning of this whole period of abstinence, I didn't necessarily set out to make it 30 days. In fact, now I think about it, it was more like a month and a week, or maybe even 40 days (insert Biblical reference here).

So I didn't really start the week thinking; great, only one more week to go before I can get back on my beloved Modafinil. Rather I just realised that my work rate and overall focus had fallen drastically in the last month or so.

This realisation made me swap some SBD for Bitcoin and then swap that for some Modafinil, and here we are.

I probably got the most done in this final week; although there were a lot of things I really needed to do, and I started getting that, not-enough-hours-in-the-day type feeling. As mentioned above, 18 hour days followed by 5 hours of sleep are nothing on Modafinil. This is why I ordered a fresh batch, because in the next month or two I need to get some serious 18 hour days in.

Supplementing Modafinil Naturally

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As you can see from reading above, I really missed Modafinil, or rather, I missed the super productivity that comes from taking it.

So during my Modafinil fast, I decided to try and find ways of getting back that * focus burn* that I so love and enjoy.

Meditation If I'm going to be completely honest, my levels of meditation dropped severely. I went from a minimum 20 minutes a day to 10, and I haven't meditated in around 2 weeks now. So I can't really say what effect this had on my focus. Suffice to say, that before Modafinil came along, it helped tremendously and I'm going to get back into it from tomorrow.

Brain Training As you may know from previous posts, I'm trying to become a software developer and am taking in a lot of new information.

I have tried to supplement this by creating a learning pair by studying Mandarin Chinese at the same time. I figured learning an impenetrable human language would help me learn the language of the machines.

As you'd expect, learning to code takes an extreme amount of patience. It also requires an aptitude for recognising and organising (somewhat abstract) symbols.

Modafinil is great for coding, so I felt that a good replacement might be a decent brain training app.

After a short search on the Google Play store, I found Left vs Right Brain Training app. It is quite expensive at around £16 (circa $20), however you can lease it for £0.99 per week.

So I did that, and boy! Am I happy I did, it is a brilliant app and I definitely felt my focus increase using this.

Every morning I turn it on and do my training and play some of the extra games. I also use it just before I start coding, using specific games that are particularly good for training your pattern recognition and patience.

Binaural Beats In the past I had tried experimenting with music to increase focus. At that time I discovered binaural beats.

These pieces of "music", claim to increase alpha wave activity in the brain, leading to increased focus and intelligence.

Well; I'm not too sure about those claims, and I didn't actually research them beyond Youtube.

However there's a reason I didn't, the fact is, they seem to work for me, and I'm quite aware that it could be the placebo effect. If it is down to placebo, I don't want to ruin it by finding out it's all a load of mumbo jumbo.

So please, if you know it's bullshit, don't tell me; as my rational mind will reject any previous benefits I may have got from it.

Exercise I'm ashamed to say that I haven't done any proper exercise in about 2 months now, since my gym membership ran out and I haven't been able to afford a new one.

Ultimately you don't need a gym to keep fit, however in order for me to haul my ass down to the park, I need time and time comes from being super focused and efficient at your other tasks, which of course . . . excuses, excuses; ach I hate excuses.

Conclusion

I will carry on with the brain training, and the binaural beats. Also meditation and exercise will work its way back into my life, along with early morning rising.

As far as addiction is concerned, I am not physically or even mentally addicted to the drug Modafinil. However I do love what I can achieve on it, and I'm addicted to being hyper-productive, so if I'm honest, that does constitute some kind of dependency.

The best thing about Modafinil, is even though you do get tied to how productive you're being. You can stop at anytime you want without feeling any adverse effects.

Though I will say it is kind of like having a bike that you are suddenly trying to ride without any air in the tyres. You can still do it, it's just harder that's all.

Which brings us to the answer to my second question; can I still maintain and keep focus without it?

Yes; but not to the same levels, and it is way harder for me, so I'd rather have it than not.

So I'm back on the Modafinil, and as before I'll try and limit it to a 3 x week dosage, but will happily go more than that when I need to GSD (Get Shit Done)!

WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS; HAVE YOU EXPERIMENTED WITH SMART DRUGS, OR ARE YOU TOTALLY AGAINST THE IDEA OF CHEMICALLY ENHANCING YOUR COGNITION? AS EVER, LET ME KNOW BELOW!

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