too much energy in caring

years later and you make it clear as daylight i was never an option.
i was a stupid reason to get in fist fights with your friends.
that you never remembered why you punched him in the first place.
bullshit. it was me. it was because of me and years later you act like it was nothing; that i was nothing.

so when you started hanging around people who accepted bad decisions for you; i stopped showing interest in caring.
i stopped watching your stories after 4am with you drunk and coked out.
i stopped giving my energy into the awful things you were doing because you were going to do them anyway.

i watched you through your darkest time only follow you with my eyes back into the fire.
don't ask for my hand to pull you out of the choices you make.
i got burned too many times saving you; half of the time you just threw me in the flames with you.

do that.
put yourself on fire while dancing but act like a victim to me questioning just how you were on fire in the first place.

allison mcnary

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