I must admit, that I'm drowning in my own sins, so much so that I even struggle to get out of bed and live. My conscience is dead, spiritually Iam debarted, paranoia always larking, so you hold unto those conspiracies as if they've already started, Out of all the medication you've swallowed away you mean to tell me that Im that pill that's too dry to take on a rainy day? My parents should have had another kid after 88, look what I've became! With every pornographic image you saw coming back on you, all the binge eating you did when ever you went home! To the fact that your parents smile at you in and think your gay or the next dahmer I represent everything that most take for granted. Cause all the rantings and conspiracies and Angelod are the actual results, of lack of human contact and the inability to grow old. The moment you get your degree or your masters, Angelod will be the bastard, unable to thrive off of production, lack of sorrow and you'll finally keep your head up to the sun up high. At that time maybe you can make it through the year without wanting to die? Ive spent my life in the dark, after this where am I to go? My future is covered in ice! Everythings on the line! I only pray that at 30 I won't take my life! Because after all the people that have left my life I'm the one left stuck in the 2002 mental health timeline. I`m at the point in my life where I must walk away from the hate, walk away from the rage, walk away from the shame, walk away from the turmoil that's going on in my brain, so this is the beginning of the end. The beginning of developing a conscience, the beginning of maturity until the very end, the beginning of different way, the beginning of thinking before I say, but before I truly change there are some things I have to say….