Hello everyone, how are you all doing? This is a topic I wanted to share to you all seeing that most people I met with here on steemit are open minded and not so judgemental on what I am about to say. Let me warn you that this is perhaps the LONGEST blog post that I ever wrote. If you actually find the time to read the whole thing... I will greatly appreciate the help... at this point I have stopped looking for a relationship with a girl because everytime I fall in love with one... I feel hurt inside always one way or another... this is not a very positive post like all the other ones so if you still want to read my sad story.... and curious on what happen, I will appreciate it, if you cannot read it all, I understand. More helpful posts like this will come in the next couple of days.
I am not writing this post not so you can have pity on me but so you can know my back story about my romance experiences.... which is almost non-existent, why I have yet to find the female companion in my life that is right for me and good advice for me that is not the obvious "You do not have confidence" OR "There is something wrong with you and you must improve yourself".
I want you to read this whole post so you know where I am coming from before you judge. During my entire life, I have encounter many kinds of girls out there... I am going to list exactly what I am looking in a girl and then I will list the traits in a girl I have encountered that prevented me from finding the one I am looking for, even at age 30.
The fact is that I NEVER had an actual girlfriend in my entire life, or a real relationship. Unless you want to count a girlfriend I had 3 hours away from me on the other side of the island of Puerto Rico. I lived in the far NorthWest and she in the Mideastern part of the island. It only lasted a week and I do not want to go so deep in why it did not work at this time. But here is the distance between me and here marked in red so you have an idea:
Here are some of the list of things I am looking for in a future potential female partner and I will make a commentary in bold of the exact opposite I get from girls:
1.) She has to be honest and down to earth. We need to be honest to each other and correct each other's mistake in a mature way so the communication between us both will be healthy.
(A lot of girls that I have met during my life tends to not be honest and keep their deepest feelings to themselves and wants you to figure out everything. You make a mistake, she dumps you and you do not know why. I HATE THAT because its like she is watching your every moves. Instead of dumping me whenever I make a mistake, she should point out my mistakes and help me to improve.)
2.) Open minded that is willing to try new things . I like a woman who is open to new ideas and encourages me to try new things as well because sometimes having someone you love that wants you to do something she/he thinks will benefit you will motivate me even more to do so. Although in reality, you need to motivate yourself to try new things first because otherwise your happiness and motivation depends on a person which is also not good but its the feeling that adds to your motivation that I want to refer to.
(Many girls I met in real life are not that motivated to try something that you are into or viceversa and if they do, they may just do it to make you happy but they are not really into it themselves.)
3.) I want a woman to make equal effort to contact me and invite me to go out like I would do with her as well. If I notice that I am not the only one making all the effort in our relationship and she wants to do her part as well that shows that she is interest, I love that from her because it makes me notice that she is geniunely interested in moving our relationship forward.
(Trust me... I met a lot of girls in my life that acts like they are interested in going out with me but then a few days later, tells me they lost interest out of the blue. A lot of girls I dealt with usually cancels the plans of us going out at the last moment or they leave me hanging with no clue with what's going on. When that happens, I worry a lot, go to depression because I have no idea what's going on... then when I start complaining about that to her, many times she would label me as desperate and needy.... messed up.... isn't it natural to be worried if I know nothing and being left hanging?)
4.) Would be nice if she has some similiar interests to what I like. Although it does not have to be all of it because we are all different and having a couple other things not in common may expand our interest to try to help each other understand why they like it. I mean if I find a girl into Nintendo, Gaming, anime, a YouTuber and loves writing stories/drawing, that would almost be like my dream girl if she also has the traits that I mentioned above.
(I do meet a lot of young girls near my age into gaming and anime, but sadly the mayority of the ones I liked all have a boyfriend and some are not honest with me, like I mentioned above, does not seem interested, thinks I am a creep or always says they are too busy to hang out with me. :'( )
Here are some of the mistakes I believe I made that I regret now that caused the relationship or potential girlfriend I could have had to never happen:
1.) At least 2 or 3 girls I had been friends with in the past, I got along with them well for the next couple of weeks and she actually wanted to hang out with me and go out. It was a huge opportunity for me to build a possible relationship with them.
The moment I start introducing a girl to a group of my guy friends that were single too, a couple of them started hitting on them after a while. At those times, I was a very nice but naive person that I want all my new friends to meet all my current friends so they can meet new friends.
Suddenly she is hanging out with my friend and talking to them more than me even thought I was the reason she knew him in the first place. I admit I became jealous and after a while, they suddenly start talking to me less and less... I felt like I had competition and could not hang out with her alone anymore like I did prior to introducing them.
2.) Sometimes I do realize that I was being too available for a girl and for some odd reason, girls does not find that attractive... I do not understand fully why many girls like a man that is too busy except if she sees that I am not always focused on her but on my goals in life too. Then that would make sense.
3.) I started giving Valentines Gift to this one girl I liked in college and felt it was a bit too early or not the best time because she never showed interest back and she never did the same for me... after a while, I felt it was a waste...
4.) Not sure if this is completely my fault but I do tend show early signs that I am interested in a girl and confessed to her too early... sadly one of the girls I confessed to... she told me that we are very different people... she put me in the friends zone... after I felt depressed... she stopped talking to me.
5.) I met a girl who cosplayed as a female kirby that I photoshoot back in 2014. I found out later that she is my neighbor and since I never had a nice looking girl living near my house, I was hyped... and I told her a day later that it would be nice if we can meet up some time to get to know each other better. She was very uncomfortable and told me not to pressure her... so I left her alone for about a week or so. Then she came to ask me to teach her a lil photoshop, so we did that and I actually met her in Wendys nearby and then took her home with me so I can teach her. All was going very well in our friendship and she even started giving me presents out of nowhere every time she came to my house. And one of my dreams would have came true that time when she seem to agree to be my partner in photography where we would get paid equally to sell prints of her photos to my fans online.
After a while, she suddenly started working 2 part time jobs in her university she went to at the time. And told me she will not be able to be my partner in photography because she will be very busy with college and 2 part time jobs... I was devastated cause once again, a girl suddenly decided to flake on me and I was depressed cause it was something I was looking forward to with her and could have started a side business with her.
I think she was just saying that to help me out but not really to her benefit. I remember she said to me a week before that time that she sees me as a brother. I was happy at first to hear that cause it means that I am special to her but it also means that she put me in the friend zone... I was in love with this girl and I think that she could have at least found some time to photoshoot with me during the weekend for an hour but she made it seem that she will be busy 24/7 and that's what I hate about society... they put people to be busy always to divide us all....
Sorry if what I said in this post is sort of pathetic, desperate and needy. I have not even finished my story on my relationship failures so I will leave it there for now and continue maybe in a week if there is enough people that wants to know more about it. Not sure if anyone reading this has been through similiar experiences and why I always have bad luck finding a girlfriend.... thats why I slowly stop caring if I have one or not and focus on improving my life....
Let me know your thoughts on this. Any inteligent advice, tips or even if you know a lady that may be compatible with me, you may introduce her to me? If not, its cool. I will post more relevant topics to help the steemit community more starting between Thursday and Friday and more crypto news. But give it an upvote if you find this interesting and resteem it to see if you know someone else that can relate.
Question: Is it stupid to be talking about my relationship issues online? Or not? Cause every time I talk about this... they see it as needy and desperate, that I should move on and forget about it.... I write here to see if people here has a more intelligent approach to this experience. I write these things to be my genuine self with people and not only post the positives in my life but negative too to help relate with other people with similar issues.
Until next blog post ppl, take care, God Bless and stay cool! :)