Love....
I've always loved the idea of love
Most times it seemed like that was all I was born to do, love!
I always felt love was not just a choice but a command
Something I had no power against…
Loving and showing care for others was the order of the day
I would find myself doing things for people, things I would think twice before doing for myself
I'll find myself caring so hard for persons that their absence made me cry
Their needs became my needs and their flaws? Well that became my nightmare
I had to live with it because of the word, love
The word that created endurance, patience and faith
Faith that they would change..
I craved for someone who would love me like I loved others
I craved for another version of myself
I was in this state for so long that it was all about them not me
For so long I neglected myself, pleasing others and forgetting that the greatest love is self love
Hate.
I always thought this was a strong word
So strong that it corrupts a person's insides
Not until I felt it myself
When I did; I felt like I was betraying my being!
I mean? This isn't how I was built, there shouldn't be room for a feeling like this
The more I thought about it the more the feeling grew…
I was betrayed, maybe not but at least I felt I was and the only feeling I had towards this person was hate… lol! So I thought
He told me that love never becomes loved unless it was never love in the first place and I believed him, that was the problem; I believed every word that came out of his mouth
So how do I begin to forget my beliefs?
Well, there was no option than to hate this person so much that whatever was given to me by him turns out insignificant
That should work right? You think it did?
Yeah, of course it worked! That was until circumstances made it necessary for me to be in the same room with this person and listen to him again and again three times every week…
Then I knew this was the wrong decision, I wasn't healed by hate, I was in fact punishing myself
We all have to understand that we do not need to replace the feeling of love with hate when a relationship doesn't work out, it doesn't make life easier it in fact does the opposite of that… we hurt ourselves by putting in so much energy hating others and wishing them bad! It steals our innocence and in some cases takes away our conscience, we might start thinking of ways to hurt him/her and then we might even end up in bigger trouble than a heartbreak …
Lets learn to let go of things that aren't ours and learn to love like we have no other option available …
Lets make our lives easier…
Till next time, I am @crystalll