We've all been told that diamonds are a girl's best friend, and they undoubtedly have the magical property of curing your girlfriend's constant nighttime headaches as soon as you present one. Before diamonds were discovered, women only had four fingers on each hand and rappers pierced their ears to reduce wind resistance for when running from the police. But what exactly are they and why do they cost a penny almost as pretty as they are?
Wooo, sparkly!
What are Diamonds?
Unless you've been living under a rock all these years, you'll know that diamonds are a hard, transparent substance that sparkle when light passes through them. And if you have been living under a rock, first check to see if the rock is a diamond and if so, send it to me and I'll dispose of it for you free of charge.
Molecular structure of the carbon covalent bonds forming diamond
Diamonds are made entirely out of carbon atoms arranged in a crystalline lattice which gives it it's rigid form. Historically, they were considered to be the hardest natural substance although recently there has been some challenges to that claim. There appears to be no strong consensus around the latter view however, so perhaps it's a myth that it's a myth that Diamonds are not the hardest substance and they remain the hardest substance on the planet, regardless of what your boyfriend or husband would boast about himself.
Why are Diamonds So Expensive?
Diamonds are expensive for the same reasons as why anything else is expensive: good old fashion law of supply and demand...and price fixing and monopolization and manipulative advertisement and exploitation. You know, basically the same tactics I employ to maximize post payouts.
You see, diamonds aren't at all that rare; it's a myth that it's a myth that it's a myth that they are. It's scarcity is entirely artificially created. Through a series of unpredictable, haphazard and disorganized business deals during the early 1900s, which later some asshole would take credit for as a genius entrepreneurial move on his part, a single company, DeBeers, ending up acquiring over 90% of the world's diamond mines. The DeBeers cartel is in a unique position to deliberately withhold supply of the tonnes of diamonds obtained through exploitative mining in South Africa, propelling prices up. The company itself has escaped abroad to avoid antitrust legal action in the United States. Like a dog with a bone, their business practice revolves around digging the stuff out of the ground just to hide most of it again as soon as they get it.
Diamond Engagement Rings
RRP - an arm and a leg
Diamond engagement rings are also a scam. DeBeers realized that while they had all the diamonds, there was no one to sell it to, as diamonds themselves, while slightly prettier than glass if you look closely enough, don't really serve much of a purpose. So in the 1930s they started an ad campaign that encouraged everyone to forget about saving for a deposit on a house, or tuition funds for their future children, and just spend it all on a sparkly little rock instead. Otherwise, it means he doesn't love you enough. And we all bought it, yes diamonds are forever screwing us over. On an unrelated note I've bought out all the sequins factories in the world and I think nothing says 'I love you' more than spending 3 months salary on a sequin vajazzle for that truly special someone in your life.
Oh and fun fact, the largest diamond ever found was the Cullinan Diamond at over 3000 carats. This might sound like something large enough to store Han Solo in cryogenic sleep again, but it's actually just roughly the size of my fist. And if you don't know how large that is, ask your mother when you see her later - Happy Mother's Day everyone!
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