This is part two of yesterday's post Transhumanism, From a Strictly Extra-Terrestrial Point of View.
... Now I know, a hundred thousand per year is a bit steep for sleeping in a freezer. But if there’s something you don’t want to skimp on, that’s the personnel handling your consciousness transfer.
The last thing you want is that they go hiring double digit IQ staff with questionable morals and a bad attitude,
What do you mean?
You know how wherever you go to MacDonald there is this guy that always gives you the wrong order?
Now hire that guy, and you’ll know the true meaning of waking up to as a man trapped in a woman’s body.
You’re a 30 years old man and they upload your consciousness to a 90-year-old woman… Or a four-year-old kid.
And then what do you do?
Funny Questions That Ought to Be Asked
Suppose the guy who writes the label on each consciousness file suffers from a bit of Dyslexia.
You think you’re resuscitating Obama, but instead you’re getting Osama.
Suppose they hire a prankster, and he uploads your consciousness to a Chucky Doll to scare his friends.
Suppose all those souls fall in the hands of a Voodoo priest, and he starts uploading them into all sorts of tiny wicker dolls.
You go to bed as a human, and wake up as Baby Groot.
Suppose you work so hard to get frozen in your perfect shape, but then some ugly politician bribes his way to get your body instead.
And you know they’ll do it.
Think about it, if you looked like the third cousin of Smeagol, would you wanna wake up in your own body?
Which makes you wonder, when’s the last time you’ve seen an attractive politician anyways?
It goes like this: Pretty politicians > Honest Politicians > Unicorns.
Classified by degree of rarity. I guess that’s why they call politics Showbiz for ugly people.
I tell you one thing though, if that body/consciousness extraction is actually invented, how long till they pass some sort of phony legislation to secure themselves the best bodies?
And then what happens?
That moment when you look at the mirror and you see Dick Cheney staring back at you.
And you thought Chucky was the scary one.
Suppose the staff get bored, drunk or stoned and start using their creativity to good use.
You wake up with your consciousness uploaded in some albino bulldog just because someone wanted to recreate Brian from Family guy.
Or even worse… Suppose they get even more creative and they upload your consciousness to a freakin’ car.
Would you then wake up as a transformer?
Now let’s talk security. Where are all these souls are going to be stored? In floppy disks? USB sticks? Maybe install the latest edition of Nero and burn them in CDs?
They better not store it in the cloud, because we all know that there’s a certain 4chan who would love to get his hands on that.
You think the guy who risks jail to leak nude pics from celebrities will resist the urge to leak their darkest fantasies and naughty dreams?
The best thing you can hope for is to store those souls in a Trezor or a Ledger Nano and hope they’re never get corrupted.
But here’s the important question, who’s going to be in charge of safeguarding the all those consciousness folders?
Don’t tell me it’s the government, because those guys are notorious for miss-placing important documents. Hell, the Pentagon itself misplaced a couple of Trillion Dollars a few years back.
Forget about the trillions. Even the plane that hit the Pentagon on 9/11 was miraculously disappeared. Talk about file management.
But let’s suppose they make several copies for just in case.
How long till someone start marketing that as the ultimate mutli-tasking solution.
Imagine this, now you can upload yourself into multiple bodies, and get much more things done than ever before.
Here’s a business idea: Click!
Armies of One
You’d be working late at night while making love to your wife at the same time.
Hell, you can even have a third “you” going to sex-classes to become a better lover, while you’re already making love to your partner at the same time.
However - user warning - You should never tell her about the other guy, because she could ask you to bring him in for a threesome.
And trust me, there are no good answers to that.
So, you better think it through from the get-go or it could seriously get out of hand.
Now, suppose there is only one copy per person and but the person in question does actually suffer from Multiple-Personality Disorder in real life.
Do all his/her personalities get uploaded to the new body? Or is there some kind of limits established per soul?
Suppose it’s a normal person with only one personality, but the consciousness-extraction catches them in a lucid dream or an out of body experience… Do you then download a blank disk?
Suppose that while downloading someone’s consciousness, we learn that they’re possessed by a demon. Does the demon cross to the other side?
Or does it depend on if the demon’s drivers are compatible with the latest version of Windows?
Suppose that the main software where all souls are uploaded get infected by some seriously malignant computer virus and it corrupts millions of files of consciousness.
Should we then prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse? Or should we pray to the skies that science will provide a Zombie cure while they’re at it?
Oh common, Zombies are not real. True, but until further proof, neither is soul-transference nor body-swaps.