Rapport
Rapport is the ability to connect with other people in a way that creates trust and understanding. This is the ability to look through the other person eyes and talk in the same "language". Or in other words, get "in sync" with the person.
You don't have to agree or like the way the point of view of the other person, but you can make him understand you. This makes any angel of communication better.
Good communication depends on our ability to create and maintain Rapport. In a surprising way, we make business and financial decisions based on rapport and not logic as we would like to think. There's a higher chance we will buy, agree or support someone if we have a rapport with him. I'm sure you knew that already if you worked in sales.
Similarities
People like people who are like themselves, or who are like how they would like to be, they don't like people who are not like themselves!
Is there a person you like? Is he similar to you in some way?
Is there a person you don't like? How similar is he to you?
We draw ourselves more to people with similar style, with a similar taste, who talks like us, who think like us, who behave like us and of cause with a similar body language!
So, how does it help us? How do we build rapport?
Mirroring and Matching
Now that we know that similarity creates rapport, but what can we do with that information?
Mirroring and Matching is kind of self-explanatory, we "copy" the behavior of the person we interact with. I like to think of it as a dance, we move in accordance with the steps of the person in front of us. This dance allows us to understand the behavior of the other person and see the world through their eyes. The point here is to decrease differences between us in an unconscious way.
We can "dance" to every behavior. If the other person realizes that you are moving according to him it becomes copying. If you do it too clearly it will ruin the attempt to get close. A good matching is done unconsciously.
Once there is rapport you can influence the other person behavior. If you want to check if such matching occurred you can make a movement and see if the other person is following you. For example, you can scratch your nose and see if he does the same.
What can we mirror and match?
Verbal
You can match your tone of voice, volume and the wording of the other person. If someone talks slowly you can slow down too, If they talk loud you can match the volume.
Speaking Patterns
Matching the speaking patterns of a person is one of the most powerful of them all in my opinion. You match the key words and the descriptive words and they will feel like you feel them and understand. You have to listen to the key words, for example, if a person says "Bro" a lot, you can say it as well sometimes.
Body Language
Maybe the easiest of them all, you just match your body language (or part of it) to the state of the person. Make the same gestures, sit or stand in a similar way and have a wanted proximity (see how the person is reacting to the proximity).
Don't match his body language all the way! and don't match extremely uncommon gestures! They will think you copy them.
Breathing
Be attentive to the breathing rate of the other, if they breathe deep or not, slow or fast. This is not a good option if the person in front of you has breathing problems.
Check This
To summarize this I choose this Tonny Robbins video. The information he provided helped me a lot in the writing of this article!
What is NLP?
NLP Presuppositions
Breaking Down Reality
🙂Thank you for reading!🙂
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