Chief Friday Onyema is my dad.
The very first chief in my community and a renown leader. He served his people right, resolving their boundary issues with neighbouring villages, overseeing peace keeping missions and ensured peaceful coexistence in my hometown.
Growing up, I discovered my dad live with no permanent friends. He was open and friendly to everyone but never stuck to any nor had any as his best friend whatsoever.
At some point when I was a kid, dad fought against the way I was keeping friends. He tried all he could to stop me from keeping friends. He was OK with acquitances, but not with keeping friends. He sounded like its evil or risky. I really didn't understand why he did that. At some point I thought he hated me.
One day, I got upset over the whole situation and I had to sit with dad for a few minutes to question him. I needed the truth. I needed to know why he wanted me to live his kinda life of no permanent friends.
This was what he had to say.
"The world knows nothing but change. The people are as such liable to change. Having permanent friends or getting too emotionally attached to people is same as opening yourself to a risk you could have avoided. It's a constant. They will change, intentionally or not and hurt you beyond measure. They will sweep house off your feet, disappoint you and at some point distabilize you."
Dad said, it's best you don't give them that trust. Just be acquainted, be close with them for as long as they want, don't be too serious about preserving the relationship.
Dad said, it's better to be acquainted than to be friends. Friends win your trust that they'll abuse. Acquaintances don't win the trust.
He said, "LIVE POLITICALLY, WITH NO PERMENANT FRIENDS OR ENEMIES"
Be Wise
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- What My Father Told Me #9: Pain is not the Problem, it's only a sign
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