A year has gone by. Looking around... is your desk, room, kitchen and bedroom in better, more beautiful condition than it was a year ago?
Dealing With A Life Of Non-Change, Static Struggle
Lets face it, you are avoiding doing small things that you know you 'should' do. You get busy with something else and keep putting it off. You feel bad about it, but you know you will get to it... so you put it off till later...
And BOOM - you are FUCKED and you fucked yourself.
You are in a trap. A trap like the frog in the boiling water, or the monkey with his hand in the coconut - but it is a trap far more difficult to detect. You however, feel the trap, and want to know the way out or you would not be reading this.
The trap is the natural brain-state that MUST and ALWAYS follows when you procrastinate. This mild, background anxiety is so easy to ignore. But your brain is creating chemicals that match that feeling... and your body is feeling tension.
By 'feeling bad' about the small things you 'should' do, you go through the mental process of imagining when you'll do the task... and you feel relief. As you let yourself off the hook, your brain releases chemicals of relief - without the problem being solved... your brain has received the reward chemicals.
Without knowing it you have started down the path of a repeat loop of guilt and relief - that programs your body and mind into this feeling state. And so you can look at your room around you and may observe that it is pretty much in the same shape it was in last YEAR.
OK - so what is the way out?
First Get Your Big Picture. From negative up to zero, from zero up to positive.
You would not expect to take a piano lesson and know how to play the piano. You know it will take small lessons several times a week - and it would be a progression of new skills over time.