How's the shoulder? It seems a lot better.
The Good Lady put a hand on said shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
Aye, it is a lot better now. In fact, it won't be long before I start going back to the gym.
I smiled at the thought of getting back to the gym and seeing some hot totty. Damn, it had been a while and I could do with it. And getting a bit fit of course.
That's great, really good. Hey, I have an idea though... Why don't you do a bit of gentle exercise and see how it goes with that? You know, some leg work and gentle stretching?
The Good Lady vibrated with happy excitement as she spoke.
Hmm, gentle exercise? I dunno chick. I am a man, I do hard exercise. I lift heavy things and imagine I am crushing the heads of my enemies on a blood-soaked field of skulls.
I swung my arms out to the side as if my enemies were here now and I was mowing them like wet red wheat.
You could do my workout with me, I will choose one of the gentler ones. You know, the ones I get up early in the morning to do?
The Good Lady's face shone at the thought of me and her rolling about on Yoga mats doing fucking hippy shakes and calling it a workout.
That one you follow on YouTube? Madfit or something? Fuck sake lady, I ain't doing that shit. I will just go to the gym and do man shit.
Obviously, I mean lift weights and stuff, not go to the gym for an actual shit. That would be a bit silly.
It's really good, oh go on. You know it would be fun to work out together. I would really like it. Pleeeease?
She pouted in that way that made me think there might be something a little moister to this evening's activities than Netflix.
Oh go on then, I mean, I am as fit as fuck so it is practically pointless to do this weak shit but for you, I will.
I made a good-natured fromping frown face.
Yay!! Look at us, we might even make it a regular thing!
The Good Lady bounced up and down on the spot and clapped her hands like a weird manga character trying out a new pair of shoes.
And so it was that I found myself the next morning staring at some hot chick on TV at an ungodly early hour.
Here we go, just some light stretches and exercises!
The Good Lady hit play over my grumbling about feeble womanly exercises being no challenge for a man.
I started copying the stretches that were being shown on the screen before us.
Five minutes in and we were on to the gentle exercises, so far so good. In fact, it was a fucking breeze.
You need to tuck your bum in more.
The Good Lady pointed out helpfully as I swayed about in a weird squat holding on to my ankles.
Aye, so I do.
I tried to be sarcastic but it was increasingly difficult over my heavy breathing.
Try tucking your hips right in before you jump?
She offered as we started on a series of small jumping and bobbing sets.
HA! I am the jumpmaster baby. Don't worry about me.
I sweated frantically at her as I tried to spy the time to see how much more of this infernal hell there was left to go.
Hot fucking shit, we were only seven minutes in? I was fucking dying?!
The exercises went on, one of them was a weird stomach crunch type thing which involved sticking out your legs as if you were sliding down an icy slope into hell.
Everything was a blur of me panting like a fat old hairy dog in the sun and throwing my limbs up and down and all around.
Suddenly a klaxon sounded from the TV screen.
I tried to see through the blur of tears and sweat that obscured my eyes.
There, that was fun. Wasn't it?
The Good Lady bounced on the balls of her feet, energy boiling from her like a solar storm.
Hope it wasn't too hard?
She beamed questioningly.
No, it was a fucking piece of cake. Might do it again before my morning shit.
I tried to look casual despite my red face and the thundering of my heart.
That would be too soon. We could do it tomorrow again if you like?
She looked at me hopefully.
Aye, sounds magic.
I smiled as I decided that this was it.
I was going to have to run away from home.