How do you feel, and what do you do when somebody is criticising or insulting you?
Be Selfish
I'm very sorry, yet the intention of someone providing me feedback is completely not of interest to me. Hey, don't get me wrong, I appreciate a compliment, I don't like being 'put on my place' and though I hardly ever feel insulted, I probably wouldn't like that either. But who cares? At the end all I want to do is take this negative or positive experience the like, and turn them into a life lesson for me. I know it's selfish to discard your intention, but I'm going to use your comment whether you meant it positively or negatively as a tool to learn new things and develop myself :)
Multiple Messages
Feedback, comments, criticism however you want to call them all contain multiple messages. Now this list above is just an example and definitely not limitative, yet have a look. What message would be most helpful to you. A message of Insult, Hurt, Compliment or Lesson? I mean, if you look hard enough you will be able to find an Insult in any Compliment, yet you will also be able to find a Compliment in any Insult. It's all a matter of practise and simply dissecting. Cut out what you cannot use, and only absorb what is useful to you.
Focus only on what's Useful
So what to do? It is very simple. Whenever somebody makes a comment regarding you, or anything that may concern you take the following steps:
SKIP the process of trying to figure out if this person likes you, wants to insult you, compliment you, or whatever. Do not try and weigh the 'judgement'. Judgement in comments is for people who don't want to be successful, it is simply not relevant to your success, only to your ego. So skip all that non-sense. Go straight to the point and ask yourself the following question:
"What is of use to me in the comment stated".
That is all you have to do!
Video Transcript:
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