Being frugal is so overrated! Why would you want to save money, When you can just spend all of it?
Spending all of your money all the time will keep your bank account clean and empty! Why not spend while you can?

Waste Everything

If you don't like what you are eating, Then throw it away. Wasting feeds the seagulls. Those poor seagulls may not be able to find food for themselves. Don't eat your vegetables, Or other foods if you don't like them. Just throw them away it's easier. Do this will all your stuff and all of your products.

Once something gets slightly worn out, throw it away. If your computer screen has a scratch on it, Put it in the garbage and get a new one! You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of inconvenience it will lower the quality of your life.

Think Short Term

Long term thinking is just ridiculous! Why think long term, When you can think short term instead. And satisfy your needs now? You'll get everything you want in life! You just have to wait! So spend all your money now, Saving and investing is useless.

Don't Question Purchases

When you question purchases, you are robbing yourself of the joy of spending that money and getting a new item.
You should focus on enjoying whatever you bought and never consider the financial repercussions of that purchase. The only time you have to suffer the consequences of your financial actions is when you focus on them. If you don't focus on them, Nothing can hurt you.

Never Use Coupons

Coupons are for cheapskates! Why would you want to save money on something, When you can just pay full price instead? When you pay full price the bank and credit card company will thank you, you'll be a loyal customer when they can slap fees and interest on you.

Always Buy New!

Buying used is gross! Why would you want to buy used when you can buy that new jacket at the department store that was tried on by 50 other people? I mean, If it still has it's tag on, It makes it new!
Buying used means, you often get a discount! And we don't like that. Besides, don't you love paying extra for that extra plastic or packaging around the item? I know I do!

Conclusion

Frugality is way overrated. It's silly and unreasonable. If everyone were frugal, the country would fail! So take one for the team and spend all of your money! Pay as much interest and banking fees as possible. Because that will make your life 10x better!

This is a joke! If you didn't catch it already, Do the opposite lol.