This story starts in 1987, Ronald Reagan was president, the minimum wage was $3.35/hr, and I was in first grade. I was excited about entering grade school. I was so excited for grade school, math science, social studies, cursive. I felt like I had the world in my hands. I got to my classroom and met my teacher, Ms. Neary* , and all my classmates, and settled down into the rhythm of school life.
One day I was walking back to class from Gym, and the school janitor, Travis*, asked me to come with him for a few minutes. My mom always taught me that I could trust teachers and school staff, so I went along with him. He took me in the bathroom, and into a stall and closed the door. Then he pulled down my pants and touched me in places I knew he shouldn't, and made me do the same thing to him. After the first time this happened, I tried to avoid Travis. But he saw everything. And when I went to the bathroom, he would follow me in there. At one point, he threatened me with a knife. He said if I ever told anyone, they wouldn't believe me, and I would get in trouble for lying.
I finally got up the courage to tell Ms. Neary what was going on, after all, my mom said I could tell my teachers if I had any problems in school. I'll never forget the look on her face. I said "Travis touched my penis". She turned a shade of red, then went right back to writing on the blackboard as if nothing had happened. Of course, in my little mind, this reaffirmed what Travis had told me; No one will believe you.
The abuse went on for another 5 months or so before my mom found me crying in my room one day. When I told her everything that happened, she went all Rambo, she must have driven to the school at 120mph. Travis was arrested on the spot, and ended up doing prison time. Ms. Neary was moved to another school, and the school district paid for me to be home schooled. The psychologist they hired told my mom it would be too painful for me to relive things in court, so Travis got a short sentence, an we never sued the school.
After this, I never trusted teachers again, or felt comfortable in school. I ended up back in school eventually, but I ha a lot of behavioral problems, and intentionally got myself kicked out. I didn't want to risk being hurt again, and I was sure it was only a matter of time. I never did normal kid things, no prom, no homecoming. I never made normal friends, or chose a career path. I eventually ended up in a juvenile prison for several years. When I got out, I turned 18, and I had a 6 month window to sue the school district as an adult. I could have gotten a couple million out of it, and brought the people responsible into the light. But I was too embarrassed to speak out in court, and I let the chance go by.
I hated the world, and didn't trust anyone in authority. I ended up in adult prison, and spent my first few years mercilessly beating and berating child molesters and sex offenders in general. I spent a lot of time in the "hole" as a result. I eventually took advantage of the free counseling they have to offer in prison, and came to terms with what happened to me. I still ask myself every day why God lets bad things happen to children, and why the world is such an ugly place. But I do my best to protect my kids, and they know if anyone hurts them, to tell daddy. I honestly don't know what i would do if someone hurt one of my kids. I doubt I would go to the school as my mom did, call the police and wait. More likely I would drag the guy (or girl) out of the school and put them out of their misery on the front lawn.
I'm not angry at Travis for what happened. I later found out he was molested in school as a kid too, and chose to deal with his pain differently than I did. I think public schools need to revamp their hiring process, and do psychological tests on all employees on a yearly basis. I'm not angry at Ms. Neary either, but I am disappointed to find out she is still teaching in a different city. I wonder how many other kids she could have saved if she had just listened....