This is something that bugs me. When people hear a case of a lady being raped, their first question always seems to be "What was she wearing? ". If they are told she was wearing anything revealing, then they go:
"You can't blame the guy, the way she was dressed provoked him"
What does that even mean?. In most families in the country I live in, you hear the parents go on and on about their daughters keeping themselves "chaste" and "pure" till marriage, but they don't really give the same instructions to the boys. I am not saying there is something wrong with remaining a virgin till marriage, what I am saying is that the restraint taught to girls doesn't seem to be also taught to boys.
Don't just teach people how not to get raped, teach your children self control, discipline and how to respect people's boundaries and consent. People are always quick to claim that the person that was raped provoked the rapist somehow, but what of people that rape children or disabled people. People cannot stay locked up in their houses out of fear, so stop perpetuating the belief that guys just can't help themselves. It's a disgusting and wrong philosophy to have.
We all know about the politician( I don't want to mention any names) who claimed that if a woman is truly raped her body has a way of preventing rape. He said rape only occurs between two strangers who are not acquainted with each other and not between people who know each other. He claimed that most women run around actually wanting men to force their will on them and that the few women who don't want this are those that are "legitimately raped". According to him, when a woman is truly raped, she does not become pregnant. I don't know if this belief is the fault of his high school teacher to clearly explain how reproduction works or if he skipped his biology classes entirely. Trust me, a lot of women's problems would be solved if they could chose when, where, how and if they got pregnant.
There are some of these cases all around us. We have a case that occurred earlier in the year in Lagos, where the male students of certain secondary schools, after their valedictory service (kinda like prom) would hunt down and trap the female graduates and rape them. This had been going on for years and the teachers were aware of it and they did nothing. It was the intervention of a woman working in an office close to where a girl was struggling and fighting against the guys trying to rape her, that they were exposed. The security guards in the schools, and some surrounding buildings did not care and were even recording what was going on. She saved the girls and took them personally home. What kind of society do we live in, where boys rape girls in some kind of morbid post-graduation ritual and the adults who are supposed to protect the interest of all the children do nothing. One secondary school even had the teachers lock the girls into the hall used for the party knowing fully well what would happen and preventing the escape of the girls.
There should be no victim blaming or would you say the girls provoked the rape?. All they did was attend school and everyone should have a right to education. Thanks to the woman who helped, she acted as a witness and the boys were arrested. Please people, let's prevent more cases like this and teach our children, all of them, no matter their gender to respect all human beings. We should all respect a person's decision.
NO IS NO
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