I'm the type of person who will help and give if I can. There's times I need help too, but when I ask, they run. Why?
I can tell you why this happens, and I know why this happens. I just really hate it, and you might notice it too.
People appreciate a friendly and helpful neighbor.
People appreciate a friendly and helpful personal friend.
People appreciate a friendly and helpful stranger.
People appreciate anyone who helps them when they need help.
WHAT MOST PEOPLE AREN'T READY FOR, IS TO RETURN A FAVOR WHEN IT IS INCONVENIENT.
Before we get into this, let me give you a prime example.
A new found "friend" of mine, who recently moved to my state had some financial problems. He arrived with cash, bought a place, and the money ran out.
This guy (and his wife) said, if you have any odd jobs, he'll happily do them. I paid him $60 to help me find out why my furnace wasn't working.
He started the job, and a little while after, his wife phoned him and said "dinner is ready, how long am I suppose to wait for you to come home?"
He left. My furnace was spread out all over the floor.
Two days passed. Next thing I know, he hooked up with another friend I introduced him to and he traded his skills to obtain lumber from my friend who mills his own wood in the forest. (He's off the grid).
During this exact same time, while he was inbetween jobs he wanted to build a deck for his wife and that's why he needed lumber.
Now had lumber, just not enough nails. I went and bought him nails. I ran to the hardware store, bought $7 worth of nails, and together we hammered that deck together.
Keep in mind, the $60 I paid him to help me with my issue (a downed furnace, and he's a trained electrical engineer) still existed.
His gas tank was empty, I threw $20 of gas into it to help him out. Now that's $87 I put toward him, and I still had a downed furnace with the work 1/2 done.
"Thanks man, I really appreciate the help" he said.
He used that gas to go to a job interview, and got hired. The job he got, paid cash each day.
After $27 of my gift to him, he arrived home that night (after getting paid), and ran to the grocery store and liquor store and bought groceries and beer.
I was happy for him.
I asked him about my furnace problem, and since their financial issues were now solved, the wife took over..
"Just so you know, he's working now. He spent enough time there, and he has other things to do"
This new friend (so I thought) has left me high and dry.
I'm high and dry financially and friendship wise, and I still searching on how to pay my next bill.
He doesn't seem to care, and neither does his wife. They're good now.
Keep in mind, the $60 I paid him to help me with my issue (a downed furnace, and he's a trained electrical engineer) still existed.
This is one example.
Now I can give 5 or 6 examples, but coming up with multiple examples doesn't change the point.
What this story is about, that when people are desperate and in need, they will be your friend, and they will take your help. When you ask for their help in return, they quickly turn a blind eye, and unless it is convenient, they will find reasons not to return the favor.
What is a person like myself suppose to do?
Stop helping people?
Stop making friends?
Start to become cynical and protect my own interests and think the world is tainted?
NO
I've come to my own conclusion. The economy is in dire straights. People are having a tough time surviving. If you pull someone out of a jam, they are thankful at that moment, but they have to get back to work and continue surviving. I don't fault this person for that, and I don't fault anyone in a similar situation.
What this guy didn't know, is that when I bought him $7 worth of nails because he didn't have any, I only had $30 worth of money in my account to be able to buy those nails.
I'm broke too. I'm also struggling to survive. I don't talk about it, but it is true.
I've been holding onto my STEEM and my SBD like they are treasures, because they are. I know STEEM and SBD aren't worth what they should. So if I can prolong selling my holdings an extra day, I will.
So now, he's working. He's making great cash.
I'm still without a furnace, and the job is only 1/2 done. Winter is here. My pipes are going to freeze and I'm shivering under blankets.
He doesn't care, and I don't expect him to, because I don't want to tell him, nor weigh my problems on him.
This is a totally sucks to be me in this situation. But at least I understand it.
Will I help someone else like this again? Yes. Why? That's my character and that's my morals. Sometimes you have do what's right, whether or not it gets returned.
I feel good about who I am. I hope he does too. It is as simple as that..
Can anyone identify with this? Or am I just the only shmuck walking around?
Now some people going to comment about how I deserve this, or the way I acted by not telling him what dire straights I'm in is why this happened. But I point you back to the issue. If someone helps you, financially or not, and pulls you out of a jam... Do you really need them to point out the obvious?
I believe a good deed should get rewarded with a good deed in return. I need to believe in that, because that's how I conduct myself. I just think I might be meeting the wrong people in my life.