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Life is much more beautiful to hold back hurt and pain; do let go!
If I ask you to give a definition as to what UnFORgiveNess is, I know you'll have over two... But let's look at these few...
Unforgivingness is like cutting yourself and hoping that it'll hurt another... It's Unpossible
Not willing to let go.. holding grudges...
Unforgiveness is when a person is not willing to let go of the betrayal, hurt, disappointment, he or she has been through or experienced as a result of various encounters. It could be with friends or families.
Beating up your soul with your own hands.
Unforgiveness... Restating the wrong done to you by others at every given opportunity.
I'll be using few stories to bring the message to us...
Four years ago after a terrible incident I had in school with some unknown guys, I hated myself terribly. I stopped going to church and I even stopped eating. I suffered myself and it affected my results in school. That made me have this practical hatred for men and then you could call me a feminist.
Two women fought over their children because one of them beat the other and left wounds on her child's body. This children grew up hating themselves till university level. And even when fate brought them to stay in the same hostel, they still didn't let go of the pain.
I use to have a best friend who slept with my boyfriend consistently for one year without my notice. A relationship I was building for three years... I hated her...
Phina's friend usually have mood swings and like one of those days, she was angry and phina didn't know what to do. Instead of phina letting go as usually, she picked on her and she reacted and it turn into an abusive session which later led to six years of no Hi between them.
Let me stop here for now with the stories
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Listen sweetheart, We cannot argue that unforgiveness is growing fast in the hearts of people than love is, and the way we water and take care of it gives me goose bomb. I mean, someone did something awful to you and the next thing we could think of is REVENGE
And we go ahead plotting and devising means to pay back.
We easily let our lives to be manipulated by anger
90 percent of the people in this world have someone or something they're not ever going to let go or forgive for anything in this world...
Those two kids in my story above grew up hating themselves over what? The seed of Wrong words planted in their hearts by their mothers and until they both were asked WHY? you could imagine how long they lived cutting themselves...
There's nothing in this world that isn't worth forgiveness.
Someone once said Unforgiveness is the hidden sin of the heart
True!
We cannot allow anyone or anything make us angry to the point of hate and unforgiveness.
This is what I do when someone tries to hurt me...
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I try to weigh the cost of the wrong someone did to me, I then look at myself in the mirror and ask myself;
- What power does this person have over me?
- Can I create a human being?
- Could this wrong s/he did to me buy my happiness?
- What's my benefit hating this person?
These things are deep and I realise that after saying them all to myself I find myself forgiving the wrong and the person.
Why would you want to sin against your heart because someone somewhere did something awful to you?
The truth is, we are beautifully created differently because we are expected to compliment each other and not condemn.
Your mum, dad, friends, brothers, boyfriend, can never be like you. And they'll ALWAYS step on your toes. The earlier we accommodate them and love them for who they are, the better we save ourselves too much of bad headaches.
For the beauty of LOVE HATE was born.
Until we first forgive ourselves we can't forgive others
Yessss! It's simple, we cannot give what we do not have...
How do i forgive myself?
You made a terrible mistake and because your conscience pricked you, you decided to kill yourself with your own hands but wallowing in guilt and pain, crying and hating your actions even hating yourself for ever doing what you did... grow out of the pain and guilt. Tell yourself I have messed up, but I cannot sleep here for too long
I could have possibly hated my best friend in the story or arranged for guys to deal with her for betraying our friendship. Instead I forgave myself and called her, she was shocked I could call her phone. Instead of me using words on her, I apologised for the nothings I did and she melted in tears...That was it. I became the boss in the end.
Sometimes we apologize not because we were wrong but because we are the only ones to do things right: because we are privilege to know the therapy of love.
Phina would have as usual, "what's wrong my friend" ? She started using abusive words on a hurting friend...
Most times the problems prolonged because we didn't treat them with the right therapy (words)
Words are beautiful when used rightly.
It's okay to be angry over what someone did that you don't like... But it's not okay to dwell in anger for too long before you make things right.
I faced a situation in my Aunt's house in 2009... I was practically a house help that wasn't planned... I washed her undies (like even the ones that have blood stains) i cook (not for the immediate family alone) i clean, go to market, drop her last child in school and bring her back home, and even sleep on the floor... #Smiles
And after I was going back to my parents, I was given just my transport back, no aid, no support, no love!
But darling, I forgave her, I loved her... She taught me lessons; To treat everyone with love and respect, to be strong and dedicated to my dreams, to work hard and pay my bills, to be independent and wise.
The problems shouldn't teach us the negatives of life but the positives.
UNTIL WE PICK UP THE BROKEN PIECES, WE CAN'T MOULD ANOTHER PHASE OF LIFE
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That was hurting! I cannot let him feel I am a losser or just a cheap girl, no no no. The revenge is not yours to take. Let him think whatever, you have to do what's necessary.
See it this way
The reasons why there's forgiveness is because there's sin; Someone must sin to be forgiven, Someone must hurt you so forgiveness can be applied. It wasn't your fault, It wasn't their fault... It will become your fault if you finally decided to apportion blames.
Nobody wins trying to fight someone else's battle. Revenge is not the solution, let Karma play its part. Let HIM fight, seat down and watch the fight.