Facebook is going the way of the dodo. I can’t complain. I’ve been patiently waiting for the groups that I use on it to find their way to another platform. No such luck so far. And I just can’t walk away from my local groups. Last month I made two new real-life-in-person friends that live near me and traded plants with them, courtesy of my neighborhood Facebook gardening group. I now have two new varieties of bromeliads. Evil Facebook or no, I can’t walk away from bromeliads.
So tonight I was taking a quick peak at what plants might be beckoning to me, and there in my gardening group was a post shaming a group called Fucking Cats Are An Invasive Species, or something to that effect. The woman was warning people not to go check out the cat murderer group, which of course was the best possible advertisement for them, because I know that I’m not the only one who immediately decided to go investigate.
It does indeed exist, and it has 41 members. And apparently it is all about euthanizing outdoor cats. I’m uncertain what ethics come into play here. Is there some sort of guideline, like please check for a collar before murdering someone’s beloved pet, or if it is just more like all outdoor cats must be disbatched. I didn’t join the group, so who knows? I catch and release spiders from my house, so I know I won’t be offing any felines.
But the rabbit hole that is Facebook was not yet done with me tonight. For some mysterious reason searching Fucking Cats Are An Invasive Species brought up not only the intended group, but also one called Are We Dating The Same Guy?— which is apparently becoming a national movement, but this group was specific to my town.
Nowadays not only can you stalk your prospective mate on the internet, now you can easily and discreetly post an ad to aid your stalking. Then local women you don’t even know who he has already pissed off tell you what a low-down dirty louse they think he is. And now Facebook allows you to post anonymously, which adds another layer of complexity to this social experiment.
I have burning questions, and that phrase alone has given me another – are there comments like “that guy gave me an STD?” The rules, which I only skimmed over but seemed kind of conflicting, specifically say it is not for male shaming. But what is the frequency of positivity? Are there comments like “Oh yeah I know that guy. Great person. You should have babies with him because the world needs those genetics to carry on.” Or maybe: “Good date – only belched loudly once during dinner.”
I don’t have the answers to these burning questions because I did not join the group. It didn’t seem right with me being married and joining solely for the purpose of being nosy. I probably shouldn’t feel guilty, because the group has only existed for six months and already has over three thousand members, so I get the feeling there are more than a couple mothers making sure their twenty-year-old sons haven’t made themselves infamous. Or maybe a couple wives just wanting to make sure that business dinner the husband had last week involved more business than cake.
I have a good friend in town that is single, and I told her to join this group as my informant—she could be the ointment for my burning questions. She laughed. I think that means no.
I have the feeling that the guy who created the cat killing group has his picture plastered on the wall of that dating group specific to whatever city he lives in. And I having the sinking feeling he got all bad reviews.