I did it!! I found my voice, I spoke up - honestly and kindly - and you know what, it worked and she heard me!! ✨
I see now that I allowed the situation to get worse in my head by letting it go on without saying anything and I need to realise that's a big part of the lesson in all of this.
I let anxiety get the better of me, I let fear get in the way. People are not offended by my honesty, I think they expect it, I'm just so scared of hurting them I bottle it up, swallowing my truth till it threatens to explode out of my chest. But I have a right to be heard, to speak my truth and have it accepted and respected. That way nothing need be bottled up, anxiety doesn't get to lodge itself in my chest and the cards are on the table before the table becomes an awkward, tension filled mess in my head. All I had to do was to be honest without letting my fear of how that honesty would be interpreted get in the way of it.
This is important. When you're forced to face your fears the outcome determines how much more or less you fear the fear when you are next made to face it. 💕
I will be less fearful next time. More willing and wanting to face the fear, knowing that the only way to overcome it is to do so and knowing that I have a right to be heard and people are far more accepting of that than I sometimes believe. Lesson learnt, again, a little bit more each time. 💫
My reward for tackling this situation was to immediately receive a message from Pia, she and Emmah are my people in this life, my soul sisters and what I'm most grateful for everyday! She's been in New York and I have missed her terribly but she's home!!!!!
This only strengthened my resolve to speak up more readily in future. I live my life believing that what the universe gives me is directly related to what I give it. So if good comes my way it's because I've done or been or given good. And vice versa, but luckily this time it was only about the good. 🌈
Having successfully made myself heard I was reenergised to go back to my normal role of listening to others. Thandi is having a few issues and with the help of a cocktail or two and renewed faith that I'm on the right path, I think I was able to help her ease out the kinks.
It was a very good day for communication. I was proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and equally proud to have slipped back into it without letting my new found voice drown out the voices of those around me. It's all about balance. I like being the person people go to for help, I don't want that to change, I just want to help myself a little more too.
Lots of love,
Daisy xx
( follow me @daisyd ) 🙏