I tried not to sleep last night because I wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet of the night time. I always wanted a silent and cooler place simply because it is soothing to my body.
The only problem is that I cannot enjoy it with someone because I am all alone here inside my room, no one to talk to even from online while others can chat face to face while for me I am too embarrassed to do it.
That is why when there is a guest in the house even if it our relative I will never want to meet them. I also always turn-off visitors from my church because I feel that even though we have the same faith to God or at least trying to please God I do not feel sincerity about their effort in tying to visit me because they know what is my condition and yet not even lifting a finger to help me.
So what is the purpose of their visit if they wouldn't even help me. They already knew what is my condition, my needs and such. I had been a dialysis patient for almost 19 years now and yet I haven't even received a single tablet from them, from anybody for that matter.
That is why I love more this community because at least I am getting help from my efforts here unlike in the "real world" where I feel all alone and nothing to turn to like a lone blade of grass without a mother.