Basic rules for dealing with people
Rule # 1 - Stop criticizing your opposite for direct & harsh.
Even though there are some people who appreciate being directly and honestly criticized, directly formulated criticism often leads to a defensive attitude of your counterpart.
Try instead for example The sandwich review. In which you first say something positive about your counterpart, then place your actual criticism and conclude your statement with a positive aspect. Since communication is highly as i mentioned in a previous Article dominated by emotion, your criticism still be right, as soon as the person towards you feels offended it can get comes much worse
Scheme sandwich method:
Here is to mention that the sandwich method is quite controversial, because you are effectively conditioning your counterpart
So to sum it up, dont use it inflationary !
Rule # 2 - If you say something, mean it!
If you use the above mentioned method of sandwich criticism, you should at the very best be careful not to make any random compliments but only to name positive aspects which you feel the same way. Otherwise, if your counterpart sees through that you want to manipulate him, this will lead to drastic consequences.
Rule # 3 - Understand your counterpart
Listen carefully to your counterpart and try to put yourself in his shoes.
What are his wishes? Dreams? Hopes? Aims? What does he like, what does he dislike?
Do not be afraid to check if you do not understand something, it will ultimately show that you are interested in it.
Furthermore, you can also paraphrase the statements of your counterparts or reflect the testimony of your counterpart as you have felt. (Here it is important to name the difference, if you paraphrase a statement you give its content emotion-free and factual again, you express how you felt it, your own feelings play a role.)
My Last article: The birth of the Youth
Related Links:
https://www.amazon.de/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/1439199191
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphrase
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_listening
https://www.amazon.de/Deal-gibst-mir-was-will/dp/3593398214 sadly there is no english version
http://robdkelly.com/blog/communication/the-sandwich-method-of-feedback/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias#backfire_effect
I also hope that my english was understandable. If not pls tell me and i will try to improve it in the future :)
If you liked the article, you have comments and / or suggestions for improvement feel free to comment :)
Greetings Chris :)