A bank account that read -$2,000 and several credit cards maxed out.
That's how my financial situation looked exactly a year ago today, in June 2016. I started out as a digital nomad in 2015 and struggled. I hadn't really worked out my niche in the world. I was shooting from the hip on a ton of different projects. Nothing felt right, but I was still shooting.
I was scraping a few hundred dollars a month from freelance gigs but nothing spectacular.
Money definitely was not flowing.
I'd taken on a contract as a growth marketing apprentice. The pay was fucking terrible. But it was steady and I was super thankful to have some cash coming in that could support me.
This influx of cash and self belief made me get a little arrogant though.
I wanted to run before I could walk in business terms.
Before I'd even won any of my own clients, I took the bold move of quitting the gig and going solo... with $2k in the bank.
Shock, this was not a good decision. This meant that I was peddling like a mad man to make anything work. But nothing was. I am not a designer. Which is funny considering I thought I could start my own design agency (lol). I was foolish and delusional. So far gone that it led me back to my family home with a minus on my bank account and a ton of credit card debt that had bootstrapped me in the 4 months I tried to go it alone.
I remember getting home and feeling so deflated.
"Why didn't I make it work?"
"Did I not work hard enough?"
The truth was, I just wasn't mature enough to work for myself at that point. I didn't have the drive. I hadn't seen the struggle you have to make, to make it happen. I didn't appreciate that success and money don't come overnight.
But you know what?
It was the best lesson I've ever had in my life.
I grew up so much during those shitty times that now, when I'm earning a solid income with several clients, I'm always being a little cautious. I won't let myself get into a vulnerable position again.
It's not made me any less risk-averse. Far from it. In fact, I still love risk as much as I did before. But I don't play around with financial risk as much. At least not without appreciating the consequences.
Thanks for reading my story. I don't usually talk about it, but it's good to get it off my chest.
Who else has had to struggle? And how did you get through it?