As I lay here on my bed š..... getting ready to start my day .....I canāt help but think about how different today was supposed to be...... something about when itās raining that makes me that much more emotional . Lol ..... well I canāt help but think that the man I love was supposed to be here today. He was supposed to be here laying with me ..... we were supposed to share this lazy Sunday together.... I was supposed to know what it felt like to be held by him ..... to know what it felt like to be kissed by him.....to know what it felt like to have him close to me ..... but plans change ..... life changes ..... itās a feeling I will never know..... maybe itās for the best.... maybe itās a sign that I should stay in the situation Iām in..... maybe itās a sign that it would have never worked out .... maybe he wouldnāt have liked me ..... or maybe it wouldnāt have lasted .... maybe heās better off without me..... isnāt sad that I still love him .... isnāt it sad that I canāt hate him.... he wonāt even talk to me .... and I canāt hate him .... I still wish him the best ... I miss our many Sunday morning phone conversations.... itās funny how one in particular still stands out in my mind .
See thatās what I hate about planning .... a lot of times, things donāt work out as planned.
Steepshot