- You don't wear an armor...
- Excuse me?
- Most people go through life in an armor. I have never before met anyone without it.
We were married for a couple of years when he said that. I was in my early twenties then. I didn't believe in armors or masks. I saw people wearing them and the harm it did. Impossible to do anything real with those, so, basically, why waste time with either? That kind of life seemed like a bad joke, at best.
Walking naked, I knew was the harder way, or at least what people referred to as “harder”. I had plenty of opportunities to learn what exactly that meant. The negative side-effects didn't matter though, because the alternative, the so-called safe way, wasn't a viable option.
Like I said, that was in my early twenties. Now the question is, has anything changed since then?
I separated from that man some years later. We weren't right for each other, but we remained friends. So, that detail has changed.... but what about me? Am I wearing an armor in the mean time?
Looking back at my life, from today's point of view, I realize that perhaps now I do have an armor of sorts.
Things have changed after all!
It's the people in my life. Those who know and love me, the ones I have bonded with.
They are what makes me indestructible.
It is because of these people, and our shared history, that I can never lose it completely, and never give up, regardless of the circumstances.
Furthermore, it is impossible for anyone to appear in my life and take me apart, nor destroy that armor.
Monsters don't stand a chance. Not only because I'm a demon slayer, but I am surrounded with others like me. Spiritual warriors.
Darkness... doesn't stand a chance.
My armor is made of pure love,
the most indestructible force in the universe.
These are not just any people. They are the ones who were worthy of the investment, of time, and of energy that goes into stripping yourself naked and getting to know each other to the bones, and beyond.
Once you do that, once you see each other in all the light, all the pain, all the glory, once you see and love each other completely, the bond becomes indestructible. It is eternal.
I have the need, a deep need, to erect a monument for each one of them. A monument of gratitude for their existence in my life. Perhaps this ever-so-humble text is something of that sort. A small token, at least. I don't know that I would be alive today without them. Life didn't make much sense to me at the beginning, when I was a teenager, looking around me, and seeing what people do to each other, seeing how they live.
We choose the life we want to live.
Detail from one of my paintings.
Sabina Nore
www.SabinaNore.com
@anibas