When two people dedicate themselves to a relationship spiritual, they agree to help each other to become aware of patterns of self-betrayal. Their intention is not to stifle negative feelings, but to create enough safety in the relationship, because the negative feelings can come to the surface and the patterns can be revealed. Company spiritual means not only to share a common purpose and guidance in life, but also a covenant to each other and full of courage to assume responsibility and to remove the charges.
Each person is here to help the partner to cease to design, to cease to do on the victim, to stop, to find problems outside of himself. I don't do this holding the conference, but creating a safe space and compassionate, in which the other can stand face to face with himself. Where it could see an enemy, the other not coming with him. Refuses to get in the game with the scapegoat, the charges and the attack. But he can love. Can accept how the other feels, they can validate your feelings and, with gentleness, we can encourage them to find, in his own heart, the path to peace.
Even if he sees the other as creates projections, don't try to straighten it, because it would mean to join him in the lie. Remains, simply, aware of who the other person is truly. And, thus, brings him – gently and without words back to himself. But, above all, she's just and listen. I don't agree with what the other says and I don't even argue with that. He knows that his opinions mean nothing and that they wouldn't do anything else than to remove the other from his trial. Just listen with attention and compassion. Listen without judging or – if it finds that the judge becomes aware of its own judgments and sits again and listens. Listen with an open heart and an open mind. And his attitude of listening becomes a pillar of support for the truth. With how listen more without judgment, with both the journey full of complaints of the other slows down. Gradually, using the path of his love, the other is back to himself. It is a gift that the partner of the spiritual provides to the other partner. This is the pearl of the maximum value.
When each can give the other the gift of acceptance and unconditional love – expanding this to include everyone – there will be no more projection, blame and attack. There will be no more topics on which they move. There will be no more victims or torturers. There will be just equal partners in the dance of life. The hearts will open. A little at first – but then so much, that they can swallow the whole of the manifested universe. And, indeed, they will and do in a day.
When all those who perceive themselves as being unworthy and will become whole and holy, there will be the perception of separation from the source of love. Each of us will be the radius of the bright light, which will radiate from the center of the heart, reaching all over, throughout eternity, dissolving the separation and the sin, baptizing guilt in the river of their own fears and greets each with bouquets of flowers, when out of the water, innocent and free.
These are the gifts that we have to offer each other, when the abuse ends. And he ends, in any moment that we remember who we are and who really is our neighbor!