Many a time when you encounter elderly persons and you break a conversation with them, you are often encountered with them expressing things they could have done more or less, or things they could have done better if offered another chance to try them.

Some weeks back, I had the opportunity of conversing with an older relative, a distant uncle, who had formed an unusual bond with me shortly after learning that I was undergoing a study with Civil Engineering as my major, though I'm a graduate now. We've formed an usual bond eversince and that could be as a result of him being an engineer himself (a metallurgy and material engineer). Anyway, according to him he'd come to visit his friend in our neighborhood and had decided to have a stopover at our home. It was really great seeing him again. I mean it's been weeks since I've seen him.

I have always been held swayed by his simplicity and the honesty with which he expresses himself. Usually whenever we meet, I would always capitalize on his openness and simplicity by asking tons of questions all of which he would ensure that answers were provided, at least to the extent of my comprehension and satisfaction. He is rare as a friend, as a relative and as a scholar. As a result I usually look forward to our meeting, and more because we share a common interest as related to our fields of study (engineering) and partly because of his vast experience in Life as well which he is usually eager to share with younger ones.

Not long after his arrival we plunged into our intellectual conversations as usual. However, for some reasons which I could not recollect at present he began treading the path of regrets. I guess I must have pushed him to that realm with one of my absurd questions or... I cannot remember how it has all began precisely. Looking back to that day and that moment, I do not regret being responsible for that very talk. In fact, I boldly claim all responsibilities, and I am grateful for his openness as well. I simply love him for the sake of himself and God.

Well, He’d regretted not studying in the United Kingdom when offered a scholarship at the University of Aberdeen shortly after graduating as a first class student from a university of technology here in Nigeria although he claimed to be generally happy with his life now. He is just lucky, I suppose.

He’d regretted not venturing into politics earlier although he is currently seeking to participate in the next election as a member of the House of Representative in his present community.

He’d also regretted in not putting his best in his theology studies back when he was an undergraduate, although he is presently enrolled as a part-time student of theology in a prestigious university in Nigeria and he is also offering some online classes on same subject as well.

He has his regrets and they were quite ample but he seem not to be shy to share them as he'd turned to be relatively successful in what he'd ventured in instead. However, I took note that many of his regrets bothered around what he did because people actually told him to do them which are not what he himself believed in. He did them anyway, resulted in success but deep down within himself he wasn’t contented nor satisfied with the outcome of his life.

Regret is a shit, that’s true. And I personally think we all can avert having many of them if we can follow just these 3 golden rules below.

Your Passion, Pursue It.

We all dream, in some ways and capacity, and our interests quite differ. While our community and immediate environment have an abundant impact on what we dream about and how we accomplish those dreams, it is interesting to note that deep down in us burns this bright fierce fire to actually make happen our dreams irrespective of the obstacles that lies in front of us.

Sometimes we win by following them (the dreams), and sometimes we lose. But when we lose, we actually gain something far more worthy. Which still comes down to “Follow them anyway”.

I have always dreamed of becoming a computer programmer, then a cybernetic engineer (you know, those responsible for inventing robots). I regret this day that I did not walk through that path but have, instead, graduated with a degree in Civil Engineering. Although, I love where I am today, however, I am not contented. You see? I talk from experience, Regret Sulks.

Like my uncle, he’d nursed a career in the political arena right from his undergraduate days but was dissuaded from pursuing it by his parents and some of our relatives (my dad, included) who thought it is best for him to face only his academic studies. He regrets listening them. He thinks the crooks in that field now are making it harder for the honest ones to venture into politics and that if he had tried it while still in the university, he probably would have been a full time politician now and will likely effect the changes he is crying for now.

Simply pursue your passion, follow your dreams irrespective of how silly and magnificent they may appear, follow them anyway.

Risks, Take Them

You cannot be fully satisfied with an outcome of an endeavor knowing well that there are some things you probably should have done to enhance the result, only that those things are risky.

Time is not on any ones side so you cannot afford sitting down doing nothing, no one should. If you can, then sadness, sorrow and a big bag full of regrets sits by your door step.

For example, imagine giving more time for your work than your family (wife, husband and children). Imagine reading lesser than you are capable of for that next examination. Imagine… imagine yourself deliberately dedicating lesser time for that important task ahead. Just imagine.

You will surely regret, sooner than later.

So, recognize your priority and risk everything for it. Just take the risks.

In Yourself, Hold A Strong Believe And Be True Too.

Yes. In yourself hold a strong believe and be true too. That is after God believe in yourself and be true to yourself.

Do not attempt to impress anyone with your life; you have no business with that duty. Your only duty is, and still remain, the truthfulness (whole of it) which you can afford yourself.

Are you familiar with this saying, “Fake it until you make it”? Yea, people say this and actually act by it. But as a matter of fact, a fact apparent to you and I (and possibly the author of that phrase), it is quite better to be disliked - to be hated and loathed for who you are – than be loved for who you are not. For when you are discovered to be not what you put yourself up to be, you’ll suffer, psychologically, emotionally, materially, spiritually. So why not hold up for what you are, establish your reputation upon reality and begin to build your personality from there? It is better this way, I think.

And for the believe that we owe ourselves, listen and never lose hang of that usual small tiny voice that we can be sure is ours. Very powerful, you will reckon, for its deep touching truthfulness. Whatever that small tiny voice is, it seem to know us better than anything.

So kindly do away with all those noise that seem to fill our head whenever decision is to be taken and watch out for that tiny voice you and I both recognize, that is us telling ourselves the best of all advices. That is the YOU that you should believe in.

That should be all for today. Thank you for staying with me till this end.

And as for my uncle, he is old now, but not too old to engage in some of those things he’d missed simply because he listened to others against his “own passionate hangings” (in his words). However, I guess he’d loved not to see younger generations stumble upon the path he had taken. He is quite rich but I can easily guess from his face when we held the talk I’d just summarized earlier, he wasn’t contented with his life.

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