Short Adult Jokes
Q. Why are men like diapers? A. They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
Q. What did one butt cheek say to the other? A. Together, we can stop this shit.
Q. What kind of Bees produce milk? A. Boobees
Q. What did the penis say to the condom? A. Cover me, I’m going in
Q. What goes in hard and dry then comes out wet and soft? A. Chewing gum
Q. What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms? A. Melt them into a tire and call it a goodyear.
Q. What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? A. Thanks for coming!
Q. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q. How is a boyfriend/girlfriend like a laxative? A. They both irritate the shit out of you.
Q. What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? A. Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
Q. What did the penis say to the vagina? A. Don’t make me come in there!
Q. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? A. Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.
Q. I asked my partner if I was the only one, she’s/he’s been with. A. She/he said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights”
Q. Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. A. Thank you all for coming.
Q. They say make up sex is the best… A. Which is lucky, because all my sex is made up
Q. Which sexual position produces the ugliest kids? A. Ask your mum!
Q. Whats 72? A. 69 with three people watching.
Q. How is sex like air? A. It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Q. What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A. They are both meat substitutes.
Q. What comes after 69? A. mouthwash.
Q. How can you tell if your husband is dead? A. The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
Q. How do you make a pool table laugh? A. Tickle its balls.
Q. What does a perverted frog say? A. Rubbit
Q. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? A. I want you inside me!
Q. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? A. I want you inside me!
Q. What do you call an expert fisherman? A. A Master Baiter
Q. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A. Beat it. We’re closed.
Q. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? A. He only comes once a year.
Q. What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? A. Lettuce alone without dressing.
Q. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A. To get to the bottom
What do you think of those short rude jokes?
Obviously rude jokes come in all shapes and sizes and we have plenty more to show you… Next up, rude chat up lines…
Sexual innuendos are perfect to randomly say in day to day life or to use as a chat up line but we suggest you be careful with how these are used with people you aren’t too close with. You don’t want to be called the “Office perv” or anything do you?