There was a time when I believed everyone told the truth. It took forever to figure out truth is a quality measured by each individual, according to their experience and understanding of the world.
As children we believe what our parents tell us is genuine. We believe it to our very core, because they are the only world we know. Children intuitively, know if a person is being honest, because they have not yet been scarred by life. Once they reach the teen years they begin to question the truth, forming their own ideas.
There was someone I once heard recite a page in their life. It sounded less than authentic, as I had heard a different version of the same story on a previous occasion. A wise old crone explained to me, he is as honest as he can be. Did it mean he was incapable of being honest or truthful with his own words or intentions? No. It simply meant his sincerity was equal to his ability to understand the meaning of truth. His small world prevented him from knowing the bigger picture, yet his experience told him he was being honest.
A bit philosophical isn’t it? Especially, when a theorem is not clearly stated. We know the shortest distance between 2 points is a line. It is a mathematical truth. Yet, when it comes to letting someone know they are going to die, or perhaps you had lunch with a past love, do you tell the truth? Do you take away the hope of a dying person or do you tell the truth so they can put their affairs in order?
Do you confess you had that luncheon with someone that might raise suspicion to a spouse? Is it better to tell your spouse and take responsibility for the rift it may cause, or to limit the pain, and keep your mouth shut?
Depends on your intentions. In my opinion it is better to lay out the facts, by doing so, it says to others, I accept responsibility for my actions. I am willing to accept the consequences, therefore, I am trustworthy.
By avoiding the truth in both of the above examples it gives a person hope where perhaps there is none. To offer hope to an unlikely situation is like adding fuel to a dying fire. It flames up momentarily then dies back down. To play with someone’s emotions with hope is a torturous way of letting someone down slowly, by prolonging their agony. This is a form of emotional abuse and an inability to be honest.
