As of late I have not actually "written" about something I think about. Lately I have felt my energy zapped, and my relationships strained. I live in two-worlds, one where I'm happily married with kids, and the other where I have a bunch of single friends still trying to figure things out. I know every human being has their own struggles, and we try to be as sympathetic as possible. What I'm having difficulty with is "caring" about the same plight many of my friends are going through.
I have raised a family for about 15 years and my oldest is a teenager. I have had to deal with finances, moves, and of course growing pains. My divorce was especially hard and I'm hoping it will be the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. My friends were with me when I was single again,and it was fun partying. However I'm the marriage guy. I enjoy being married and having someone to come home too. I know it's not easy finding people to settle down with, but I was able to achieve this a second time with much better success.
Being a father has taught me a lot about life and responsibility. My friends have been there for me during the ups and downs; but listening to them complain about the same thing over and over again tests my patience. I am grateful to them, but I have no patience anymore to sit on the phone and listen to them complain about being single.
Why is my patience being tested? Well it's of course because I cannot say what I really want to say. When something is not working you need to make changes. After all, the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing again again while expecting a different result. My single friends seem to be making the same mistakes over and over again while complaining about it. It's as if the older they get, the more they expect perfection out of whoever they date. When those "standards" aren't met, they keep moving on to someone else and lamenting why they cannot find anyone.
Sometimes I want to tell them it's not necessarily the people they are dating, but their expectations and perhaps even themselves. I know we don't want to be the freezing cold water that wakes people up; so I remain silent. I do not believe certain people are open for change and that is also why I don't give constructive criticism. In any case I have found myself ignoring their calls, and not calling as much myself. I feel like I have "big boy" issues to really deal with, and the lamenting single scene is unimportant to me. I don't want to lose my friends so I begrudgingly still keep in touch. I don't think that's a healthy relationship, but at the same time I balance being grateful with some distance.
I know these are unimportant issues like the crypto-market falling, and the Stock market tanking. However at the end of the day it's our relationships that either help or hinder us. Man is not an island as they say and I don't want to cut out these relationships based upon my level of acceptance and patience.