Q: What's 6 inches long and starts with a p?
A: ........... a shit (think about it)
Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
Q: How can you tell that you have Africanized bees?
A: The honey tastes like malt liquor.
Q: What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
A: They both only change their pads after every third period!
Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
Q: Whats the best thing about a 18 year old girl in the shower?
A: Slick her hair back she looks 15..
Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
A: The back of my hand.
Q: What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
A: The PGA tour.
Q: What did the bra say to the hat?
A: You go on a head while I give these two a lift!
Q: What is a vagina?
A: The box a penis comes in.
Q: What do you call 2 jalepenos haveing sex?
A: Fucking hot!
Q: How is a woman like a road?
A: Both have manholes.
Q: What do fat chicks and mopeds have in common?
A: They are both fun to ride till a friend sees you on them...
Q: How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Q: Why is 88 better than 69?
A: Because you get eight twice!
Q: How man Sorority girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, One to screw it in, and one to take a picture.
Q: How do you kill a retard?
A: Give him a knife and say "Who's special?"
Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East?
A: a Selfie!
Q: What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine?
A: They both don't work and always take your money.
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/dirtyonelinerjokes.html