Day 5 - Today I woke up with a headache and had a hard time getting out of bed. One thing I find beautiful though when going through detoxing is how much more creative my thoughts are. I couldn’t seem to fall back asleep because I had so many different exciting new ideas come through my mind. Flowing naturally as the sun rises. Ah ha moments strike my awareness. My dreams become that much more vivid as well. Last nights dream was crazy, I found myself at a festival with a bunch of friends but for some reason I wound up witnessing a shooting in my dream. I woke up startled, I didn’t know who was shot or what it meant until I did some research. I’ve always enjoyed looking up dream interpretations trying to understand more of what my subconscious is trying to tell me. Feeling strongly that my higher self is reaching out to me and wants to help guide and remind me that I’m on the right path. Sure enough when I look up my dream it says, “A change has been decided on. Aiming for a goal. Choosing to “terminate” your competition or people who you think are working against your best interests.”
This interpretation speak very highly to me right now, I’m sensing a much stronger focus within me. I feel more centred and confident in my my daily decisions. It hasn’t even been a week yet and I already feel like I have way more control over my life than I ever have before. One of the biggest things I’ve started to realize is the importance of changing my environment. A huge part of me misses the service industry for the social aspect of it all. But then on the other hand when I’m surrounded by french fries and am able to eat pub food for cheap it’s that much harder for me to say no and stay away from these foods. Sure in moderation these foods are okay and I must admit they’re delicious! But I don’t feel like I have a healthy enough relationship with these foods to say no to them. So by changing my environment from working at a pub as a bar tender to a wellness consultant working at a health food store. It has made it much easier for me to do the necessary work that my body, mind and spirit requires for this deep healing. These changes may not be for everyone but for myself I’m starting to understand how weak my will power is when temptations are surrounding me all day. And sure enough I’m even struggling to not purchase certain unhealthy foods at the health food store haha.. go figure. It’s a good thing Brad is joining me on this cleanse, his support and help has been much appreciated!
Temptations are around us all day, right in front of your face, wherever you go and I can’t seem to go anywhere without noticing the decadent chocolate squares and pastries. Or the warm and welcoming cup of coffee from an artisan cafe who’s done a fine job of pouring a heart of steamed milk into the dark pool of espresso. I absolutely LOVEEEE going to cafes by myself and reading a book or studying new things and it’s going to be insanely hard for me to step away from these places. I’m a huge fan of trying out new restaurants and sharing my experiences of these places with family and friends. In Kelowna I had such a pleasure spreading the love about how amazing a certain coffee shop is or sharing the delicious new dish I’ve just tried down the street. This would be such a great way for me to connect to Vancouver’s community but unfortunately I have to put networking aside for right now, haha!
Being in the health and wellness industry and surrounding yourself around many like minded individuals is amazing, but at the same time it can very much become intimidating and unhealthy. There’s this deep desire to want to be where someone else is, wanting to be at their “level” of spirituality, health or success. Seeing how connected people are to themselves is so inspiring but I have to remind myself that no one is perfect and that the journey that I am on is just as special as anyone else’s. I want to feel so healthy in this body!!! To “HEAL”myself, I believe will always be a part of my daily practice and by saying that it helps take the pressure off of where I think I’m supposed to be. I’ve been “healing,” myself ever since I came into this world. It’s been a long hard ride but man is it fascinating unwrapping all these layers and witnessing more of who I truly am. So with that being said I guess my dream was right I choose to terminate this competition of wanting to be healthier and terminate the idea that others are stepping in my way and affecting my progress. As I am way healthier than I was yesterday and the temptations that are shown before me will only make me stronger. They can very much be a test to understanding how much I truly want to honour myself and this body.